


Hidden in the Dark

by Iflyinmydreams (orphan_account)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst and Tragedy, Awkward Sexual Situations, Eventual L/Yagami Light, Everything Hurts, Execution, Explicit Sexual Content, Forbidden Love, Forced Marriage, Guilty Pleasures, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Illegal Activities, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Survival, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Vigilantism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-12 15:07:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 43,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21478360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Iflyinmydreams
Summary: My friend NiaChase was the inspiration behind this story.The human race is in survival mode after a world war has ravaged the planet. Light is a young man trying to protect his sister, ending up as part of the infamous vigilante group known as Kira.L has left his anonymity and fortune behind to join the New World Police Force, where he's a valuable asset. Can L reconcile who he is in a world that executes those who are caught practicing homosexuality or stealing food?When Light and L eventually cross paths, will either of them ever be the same?
Relationships: L/Misora Naomi, L/Yagami Light, Near | Nate River/Yagami Sayu, Takada Kiyomi/Yagami Light, Yagami Sachiko/Yagami Souichirou
Comments: 109
Kudos: 47





	1. Dirty Places

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NiaChase](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiaChase/gifts).

> I hope you can dig it! For now I plan to alternate between Light's journey and L's every chapter. So expect to see what L is up to in chapter 2!

The line was impossibly long, the dry heat nearly intolerable. It had been weeks since any sort of aid was brought into the town, and it was rumored on the streets that none was coming. Some families had already packed up in search of towns closer to fresh water. It was risky to leave the town. Beyond its walls were perils of many kinds, including gangs who were well known for their cannibalistic tendencies. 

Light adjusted the red scarf he was using to block the dust from being breathed in and braced against the gust as it passed through. Clenching his eyes closed tight, he dreamed of towns by clean water, towns that flourished where people were happy. He'd heard of these towns, and wanted to travel there one day. Dangers be damned, he thought. It would be worth the risk. But his younger sister had always been too young to travel and now that she was finally at a good age to go, their mother was dying of cancer.

“There are no rations left! No seeds! No medicine!” Light opened his eyes and balled his fists at the announcement. _Fuck_. His mother desperately needed pain killers. She’d been up all night screaming in pain. 

As the crowd scattered, he approached the crumbling building to see if he could beg. Maybe he could make a trade, if what he had to offer was appealing to them. He cringed. “Please, my mother is dying. She needs pain killers. Do you have any at all?”

“No, son. I'm sorry,” the older man behind the counter said. His face expressed sympathy for the young man, but there was nothing he could do.

Turning away, Light’s shoulders heaved as he sighed in his disappointment. He didn’t want to face his father. Returning empty handed just wasn’t an option. The only option he really had was robbing the infirmary, but it was heavily guarded. If he was caught, he'd be killed on the spot most likely. _Well, then I better not get caught._ He couldn't bear another night of his mother's wailing. 

As he approached the infirmary, scanning the dilapidated building for guards, he heard a deep, raspy voice behind him. “I couldn't help but over hear you a moment ago.”

Light wheeled around and stared up at a gruff older man. His crooked smile was missing teeth and he smelled like he hadn’t bathed in days. “I've got morphine I’d be willing to trade.”

“What do you want? I don't have much,” Light said.

“I think a purdy boy like you can figure it out. I've got a room at the Haitian House. We could trade it for a little favor?” He licked his dry lips disgustingly as he eyed Light, undressing the young man with his mind.

Light shivered and his stomach turned with disgust. “That’s illegal.”

The man let out a raspy laugh, “No one has to know. What do you say?”

Light swallowed hard. “I'll do it.”

Without another word, the large man turned around and walked toward the Haitian House. Glancing around, Light hoped nobody he knew saw him enter what was basically a brothel thinly veiled as a hotel. Just to be sure nobody recognized him, he stretched the back of his red scarf over his head as he walked up to the large open doors. 

Sickly looking women stood outside smoking hand rolled cigarettes dressed in soiled, torn clothing. They weren't that different from Light, really. The only difference is he did his business in secret because getting caught meant certain death. Prostitution was legal, homosexuality wasn’t. 

Walking through the door, Light was hit in the face with a thick film like smoke hanging in the air. The place smelled like stale alcohol, cigarettes and sex. The old wooden stairs creaked beneath Light's feet, warning with each step they may give way. 

He followed the gruff man to his room, the door locking behind them. With a groan, the man dropped his pants and sat on the bed. “Well?”

Light walked over and got on his knees between the man's legs. He smelled like rotting fish. Light tried not to gag as he placed the sour tasting lump of flesh in his mouth and began sucking. It slowly became erect, and Light could feel his pubic hairs getting stuck between his teeth and in the back of his throat. It was nauseating. He used his fist to help pump the erection, hoping to bring it to full mass. Maybe the old man just wasn’t capable of a full erection. It didn't matter though, because he started grunting, clutching at the stained bed sheets he sat on. Light pulled off in time for the man to come on Light's fist.

Thankful it was over, Light stood and wiped his hand off on the bedding. The man pulled his pants back up and opened a dresser drawer, pulling out a small case. He opened it, revealing 4 syringes of morphine, showing it to Light. Handing it over, he said, “Pleasure doing business with ya.”

Light nodded, unable to keep from frowning despite being thankful for the medicine. He rushed out the door and down the stairs, stopping outside just in time to lean against the side of the building and vomit. If his parents knew what he had just done they'd be so ashamed of him. It was a terrible feeling knowing this was how he'd survive. 

He spit a few times and wiped his mouth. It felt like even bleach wouldn't be able to clean the filth from his mouth. Now that he'd procured the necessary pain killers, he made his way home. It would be worth it to see his mother resting peacefully instead of screaming in pain. Anything was worth taking away her suffering. She would most likely die soon and he didn't want her last moments to be ones filled with pain.

“I'm home!” He announced, removing his scarf and light jacket, hanging them on the hooks by the door.

“Were you able to get the pain killers?” Souichiro asked as he appeared from one of the rooms. He was a tall, broad shouldered man who's handsome chiseled features were weighed down by stress and trauma.

“Yes, father,” Light said, handing over the Morphine. They both turned their heads when they heard Sachiko cry out in pain. “hopefully this does the trick.” 

The house was dim and old, but clean and cozy. Light's parents had done a good job taking care of it and their children despite how difficult things were. They carefully rationed out food, making it last far longer than it should have. They were able to cultivate little indoor gardens of easy to grow vegetables like lettuce, radishes and carrots using rain water. Sachiko and Souichiro did their best to protect their children from the dangers of the world, and they hoped it was enough.

Light excused himself to brush his teeth. He scrubbed until his gums bled, never feeling clean enough. This wasn’t the first time he had to do something repulsive and it wouldn't be the last. He just hoped he could keep his younger sister Sayu from walking that same path. Light stared into the mirror as he leaned against the sink, both hands gripping the edge. When did he stop being able to recognize himself? His eyes were so tired, his face drawn and cheeks hollow. Everyone had lost weight recently from lack of food. Stress over his mother was keeping him up at night. Things were not ok, and he wondered if they ever would be.

Sayu was sitting by the fire reading one of her many books again. It had been a while since Light stumbled upon a new book to bring her. By now she could probably recite all the ones she had from memory. “Where the Red Fern Grows, eh?”

She smiled at him, setting the book aside. “Eventful day?”

“You could say that,” Light tried to smile but found he couldn't.

“You sacrifice too much, Light,” she said, hee wisdom seemingly infinite. It were as though she could see right through him. He'd never be able to lie to her, and if she asked, he'd confess to his retched deed. Thankfully she had the decency to never ask.

“And yet it's never enough,” he glanced at the fire, wishing he could jump in.

“Yes, it is.” She was adamant, but soft, “It is not your responsibility to save mom, or anybody. You take on responsibilities that are not yours. I wish you would unburden yourself.”

He placed his chin on his fist, thoughtful. It would be nice if he could figure out how to unburden himself, he thought. Maybe then he'd get some sleep. They stayed by the fire until Souichiro came in, his wife now asleep from a heavy dose of morphine. He made them a small bowl of rice with pickled vegetables on the side. It wasn't much, but at least they got to eat. There were many in the town who went hungry night after night. Some people had already died of starvation. With the lack of aid to help them, many more would soon perish.

Souichiro covered his children with blankets when they fell asleep, the fire dying as the night wore on. It was difficult waiting for Sachiko to die. Once she was gone, he and the children would leave this place behind in search of a better life. They'd been preparing for months, finding weapons and fixing broken guns, collecting ammo, sharpening knives. They'd fixed an old dehydrator and made several bags of dehydrated vegetables for the journey. 

Back in his bedroom, he knelt by his sleeping wife. It would be any moment now. “I love you,” he whispered to her, stroking her face lovingly. Sachiko was the love of his life, his soul mate, if there was such a thing. This world didn't have room for romance, but Souichiro was a romantic at heart. No matter how difficult things got, he found a way to show her how much he loved her. It was his hope that she died knowing how much she was loved.

Sachiko’s breathing became shallow and slow until she was no longer breathing at all. He squeezed her hand, “I'm going to miss you everyday.” Standing, he left the room to prepare for their journey. He'd finish packing their bags and double check their supplies. They'd leave at dawn and never look back.


	2. L's Privileged Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L has it a little better than Light. Sort of.

It had always been difficult for him to get up early in the morning.  Late nights were more his thing, but a life where he could stay up all night and sleep all day was so far in the past he barely remembered it.  With a groggy groan of irritation, he hit the snooze on his alarm, trying to open his heavy eyes.  Careful not to wake the person sleeping next to him, L sat up and stared at nothing for a moment.  At least when he felt this way, his mind wasn’t clear enough for the things that haunted him to filter through.  Nothing really filtered through. No, he typically kept it all at bay until the evening, when he was alone in the dark and vulnerable to its advances. 

Turning his head as far as he could,  he made sure Naomi was still sleeping. She was the devil if she was woken up on accident, something he learned the hard way.  Otherwise, however, he'd really lucked out being paired with her.  There were plenty of stories of spousal abuse and a recent increase in homicides concerning spouses. It seemed the government's forced marriage law wasn’t quite yielding its intended fruit. Go figure.

Naomi was beautiful, intelligent, and practical. She understood the mandate and took her duty seriously.  She was easy to live with for the most part, and L was grateful.  Things could be much worse, he knew. He could've easily wound up in one of the many towns with no running water or indoor plumbing, where food was rationed to the point of starvation.  The government  had started pulling back aid to those towns that failed to thrive. It was a pragmatic move, really. Those who were strong enough would travel to the cities that were flourishing.  It saved on precious resources to keep everyone together in self sustained cities. 

Forcing himself to stand, he stretched his sore body and limped out of their bedroom and down the stairs. This was why he always hated exercise. Fucking sore muscles everywhere. Putting on a pot of coffee, he went to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. His eye was still black and a bit swollen, but at least he could see out of it now. Frowning at himself, he turned away from the mirror to piss, thinking that no stupid kid would ever get the jump on him again.

Coffee was like a God-send, really.  The city  had only gotten access to it in the last few years, and it was the most precious commodity of all.  Food rations were plentiful as well.  Nobody was starving in this city, not anymore. Medical supplies was still a hot thing for gangs and druggies to lift, and L and his team were on the verge of the biggest bust ever.  They'd been keeping tabs on the infamous Kira group for months, and if his Intel was accurate, they'd be taking them down quite soon.

The creak of the stairs caught his attention, and he watched as Naomi carefully descended, one hand on the rail, the other under her swollen belly. “What are you doing up so early?”

“I wanted to see you off. It's your first day back in the field since your injuries,” she said as she approached and planted a soft kiss to his lips.

He smiled, “How's the little man doing?”

“He's fussy this morning, but what else is new,” she said with a grin, holding L's hand against her belly so he could feel his son kick.

Several perks came with having children, like expedited health care, additional rations, increased pay.  People who couldn't have children weren't punished,  they just didn't get perks. They also weren't forced to marry, so maybe they got the better end of the deal after all. 

L knew he needed to stop resenting the government. He worked for them for goodness sakes. Some things were simply impossible to reconcile for him, and he had nobody to talk to about it. He kissed Naomi goodbye and left for work, trying to remember to be thankful for all he had. They lived in a nice apartment in a safe city where all their needs were met. That was far more important than his feelings. It outweighed what haunted him and kept him silent as he suffered.

The walk to the train station was pleasant enough despite his limp. The exercise was good for him anyway according to the doctor.  If he wanted full use of his leg back he needed to build the muscle.  That was certainly easy to tell him. L wondered if that smug doctor ever suffered a serious injury before. Bastard. 

Nobody on the train spoke or even really  looked at each other. It seemed everyone hated their life. At least he wasn't alone in that.  He couldn't pinpoint just one thing he hated, either. He hated aspects of his job, sure.  But there were parts he liked. He didn't hate where he lived, but he didn't love it either.  He'd grown fond of Naomi, and having a baby together bolstered that affection, which honestly surprised him. But he didn't love her. Not in the  way she needed. Of course, he pretended he did. He fucked her every time she wanted it, even instigating sex on occasion so she didn't become suspicious.  But it never felt right to him. Never felt good. It felt wrong and dirty and something that was supposed to bring them closer was actually driving a wedge between them. But he couldn't tell anybody. He'd lose everything if they found out he was gay.

The train reached its destination without incident and L found himself falling back into his old routine easily. Walking into the large  precinct , clocking in,  pouring himself another coffee and grabbing a donut before heading over to his desk to see what was on the agenda for the day. He got several “ welcome back” pats on the back and shoulder smacks from other officers. His fake smile had been so perfected that he didn't even have to try anymore. “It's good to be here,” he lied. 

He'd been organizing the stack of papers on his desk when Matsuda walked in, “Team meeting in ten?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” L said without even a glance at the kid. Matsuda was quite  a green but promising rookie. He'd been matched with a little blond girl named Misa who was incredibly annoying and honestly, they were perfect for each other. They were expecting their third child , which amazed L.  All for the future of the human race, he figured.

Finding his desk was about as organized as it was ever going to be, L stood and made his way into the conference room. They were going to go over the plans to take down the Kira group. He was excited because he’d been lead on this project for months until he was injured. Once he was out of the game,  Aizawa took over, and L wasn’t even mad about it. He was a good detective and he did the project justice. 

It was just too bad the meeting was boring as hell. They had a few new officers helping so they had to go over all the old information. L wanted to put his head down on the table and fall asleep desperately, but that kind of thing was generally frowned upon. He was bobbing his head a bit, about to nod off, when he heard a tap on the glass as the Captain opened the door. “Lawliet, can I see you in my office?”

L rolled his eyes a bit and stood as a few of his peers giggled about him already being in trouble on his first day back. That’s not what it was, and he knew that. At least, he thought he knew that. It couldn’t possibly be anything bad, right? He’d just gotten back, and besides, while his private thoughts might not be on par with his role, he very much looked and acted the part. Surely they hadn’t started monitoring people’s inner thoughts, right?

He pushed the large, heavy wood door to the Captains office open with some effort. He’d certainly lost a good bit of upper body strength too, it seemed. “Sir? You wanted to see me?”

“Come in, sit down. I just wanted to make sure you really felt ready to get back in the field. I have plenty to keep you busy here if need be,” he said, kind smile on his face.

L tried not to limp as badly as he needed to over to th e chair and sat. He clasped his hands together in his lap and put on a stoic,  professional face. “I am ready sir. I passed both the physical and psych requirements.  I'm honestly excited to be back.”

That was only half true.  He was looking forward to taking down  Kira, sure. But the reality was he _ had _ to come back to work, ready or not, and he wasn't about to become a pencil  p usher.  This “new” society didn't exactly have paid time off and benefits.  Mortality rates were high with police officers but nobody cared, the job was coveted by those who longed for a clean place to sleep and food that lasted.  To be perfectly honest, L was replaceable, so his limp better not get in the way. He'd passed the physical requirements by the skin of his teeth and they both knew it.

“Alright then, that's all,”  the captain said. “Just wanted to welcome you back.”

“ Thank you, sir,” L said as he exited the Captain’s office, not feeling better about his situation in the slightest.


	3. Into the Desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light's family sets off for hope of a better life.

A firm hand rocked Light’s shoulder until he roused from his sleep. “Huh?” Light looked up and saw his father through blurry eyes.

“It's time,” he said firmly,  a seriousness to his tone that woke Light quickly.

_ Mom must be…  _ there wasn't time for that now. He sat up and nodded, yawning and stretching before standing folding the blanket.  Souichiro woke  Sayu behind him, and he could hear the sadness shake her voice as she asked about their mom. It was difficult to listen to, but Light shut it out.  This wasn't the time for emotions.

They stuffed what little clothing and basic necessities they had into their backpacks along with food and water.  Their blankets were secured on top and  Souichiro carried a tent.  They all strapped on weapons. The men had shotguns hanging across their chests and hand guns with extra ammo on their belts.  Sayu had a pistol on her side and knives hidden on each ankle. They were well prepared for the journey ahead.

As they exited their house, they met another family waiting for them outside. “Are you ready?”  It was Joe, their neighbor. He and his wife and young son were making the journey as well. There was strength in numbers, and hopefully with all six of them, they'd make it out alive.

Joe and his wife had been good friends to his family over the years. They helped each other out when it was needed , giving freely in a world where generosity was unheard of. They had given each other food and medicine over the years, helped keep each other's houses in decent enough repair to live in.  They were good people and there were no better travel companions.

“Yes,”  Souichiro said with a nod. As they all walked forward, Light hesitated and looked back. “Come on son. There's nothing left for us there.”

It didn't feel right to just leave his mother to rot in the house like that.  There was no other choice, he knew. They could've carted her body to a mass grave, but was that really a better place for her to rest?  No, somehow that felt worse. She'd rest in the house where she raised her children, where she found joy in the midst of despair. It was all they could do for her now.

At the gates of the town, they found they weren't the only group wishing to leave.  Light's father spoke with a few people, and it seemed they were all headed in the same direction, at least for a little while.  Slowly, the gate keeper opened the large, heavy gates and the group poured out into the desert. The sun had begun to rise, casting a golden glow across the dunes.  Light hoped they made it to a place where he never had to see sand again. A place with grass and trees to cast shade on hot days. 

They walked for hours, the pace slow.  Light's feet ached and he kept a watchful eye on  Sayu , who tried to be stoic, but he could tell she was tired. None of them were in any kind of shape to travel far.  Most of them were pretty emaciated, and Light wondered how they'd survive this journey. It wasn't a one or two day walk. This could potentially take weeks.  He supposed they felt they had no choice. If they stayed in the town they would've died anyway.

Sayu tripped on the sand and fell on her hands and knees. Light rushed to her. “Are you alright?”

As she accepted her brothers hand up, she dusted herself off. “I'm fine. Not hurt. The sand was just softer than I expected.”

Light nodded and turned with her to continue on with the group. The pace had slowed considerably, and Light sifted through the crowd to find his father. “Perhaps we should stop for a break? Most of these people look exhausted.”

“We can't stop here, it's not safe.  There's a mountain range up ahead where we can seek shelter ,”  Souichiro explained. 

Light nodded, but there wasn't a mountain range in sight. It was just desert for miles. Light gulped and looked back at Sayu. She'd make it, she was strong and Light would make sure of it either way. It had only been half a day into their journey and already he was worried. 

Eventually, Light could see the mountains in the distance. They looked blurry and grey, but they were there. A low cheer spread throughout the group as the mountains came into view for everyone. The people seemed to have a renewed sense of excitement. Everyone knew that in those mountains was fresh water, and beyond them a forest, and beyond that a safer and better establishment. It was rumored that the city stretched all the way to the ocean as well as surrounded a large fresh water river. Apparently the economy had begun thriving once a scientist figured out how to decontaminate the ocean and the fish population flourished.

Light wished he had the strength to run to those mountains, but he settled for smiling as they slowly grew closer. The sun finally began setting, the cold breeze of the incoming night sending shivers through him. Sayu looked miserable. “Here,” he said, reaching for his blanket. She took off her pack, wrapped herself up, and placed the backpack back on. “Better?” he asked.

“Much,” she smiled tiredly.

“We're almost there,” he encouraged, though he was quite ready to fall over himself.  Bracing against the cold, the group dragged on. Neither he, Souichiro, nor  Sayu had eaten much that day. It was important to save their rations, but incredibly difficult with how far they’d walked. Hopefully there was some edible vegetation in the mountains and fresh water. Maybe they could hunt an animal down and roast it over a fire. Light found his mouth salivating at the thought. He hadn’t had meat in such a long time and now he was craving it. A lot of hope rested in those mountains, and he trudged on, clinging to that hope.

It was completely dark by the time they reached the foot of the mountains. A few people scouted the area, finding a shallow cave they could all huddle together in. Several people began making fires, and Souichiro and Light joined a conversation about a night patrol. They’d rotate out every 4 hours. Souichiro offered to take the first shift, and Light wondered how the hell the man could remain standing at all. Light was on second shift, and he was thankful he’d get 4 hours of rest before he had to be back on his feet.

A few experienced hunters managed to kill a rabbit. It wasn’t enough to feed the entire group, but they figured they could make it stretch if they diced the meat and tossed it in a stew. Light offered up some of his dried vegetables for the soup, the salty preservation of it adding some seasoning to it. Several people offered up part of their water rations for the base, and another person had actually thought to bring a pot along. Another person had a small sack of rice to add. Despite their current situation, this soup would turn out to be the best meal many of them had had in a very long time. 

It felt so incredibly good for Light and  Sayu to sit down on the cold hard ground and get off their sore feet. They had both removed their shoes to find bloody sores that Light carefully wrapped. They laid down and snuggled close for warmth, promptly passing out as the fire roared on.


	4. Learning To Be Thankful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L learns a valuable lesson that causes him to realize how good he really has it.

“Give me one more push and you'll be done. I want to see you extend your legs all the way out. That’s it, all the way. You got it,” L knew his physical therapist meant to be helpful, but he couldn't help but wish he could shoot her in the face sometimes.  Did she even know how much this shit hurt?  _ For fucks sake,  _ L thought, irritated. He was glad when it was over, and he sat up on the seat of the leg press, sweating and breathing heavy, being told he did a great job.  _ Yeah, fuck you. _

L wasn’t always this angry, this bitter. Once upon a time before the world went to shit he really didn't care about a whole lot more than solving puzzles for fun and driving  Watari crazy. Ah,  Watari . L really missed the old man.  His death was kind of L's turning point. At first, he wanted to join in on burning the whole world down. Then he figured the old man wouldn't approve of that so he went a different route. Look at him now, someone to be proud of, yippy.

L headed toward the locker room for a shower. There were a few other men in there, some of them also doing physical therapy but others using the gym for their job, as several required a certain fitness level. A couple of the men were fucking _hot_ and_ naked_ and L tried not to stare. He also tried not to get an erection but that didn't happen. _Fuck. _At least nobody could see him rubbing one out in the shower.

He was definitely not the only gay police officer, and certainly not the only gay man in the city. The problem was that it didn't matter.  Even if he found them, and they were hard to find, he couldn't do anything with them. The risk was too great. He didn't want to end up like… he pushed the thought out of his mind. Now was not the time to start thinking about past regrets. He'd had no choice.  It was their fault for getting caught, “ Damnit !”

“You ok  Lawliet ?” Someone called from outside the shower.

“Yeah, just tweaked my knee.”  _ Get it together, asshole.  _

L stepped out of the shower and threw on his civilian clothes, decidedly hungry and curious to see what Naomi had made for dinner. She wasn’t the best cook, but her food was edible. She was no  Watari , but then again, nobody ever could be. 

It was nice that the train station was so close to the gym because his legs were fucking jello at this point. Plopping onto a seat, he sighed and sat back, getting comfortable. Then he noticed a pregnant lady being forced to stand right in front of him. _God __damnit__. _He stood, “Take my seat, please.”

“Thank you so much,” she said, obviously relieved to be getting off her sore feet.

L smiled his fake smile and dug through his gym bag for aspirin.  His knees were  _ killing _ him. At least he was going home to a comfortable place with a warm meal to woman he was pretty sure _ actually _ loved him, which was insane. He wasn't even likeable most of the time.  And on top of all that, he had a bottle of whiskey with his name on it waiting for him.

“Hey baby, I'm home!” He called as he limped in, the aspirin finally having taken affect. 

“L!” She sounded frantic, and he dropped his bag at the door and ran in the direction of her voice. “ I’m in the bathroom!”

“What's wrong?”  he came to stop in the bathroom doorway, realizing immediately she didn't need to answer that. “I'll call the doctor.”

“Ok,” she said from her place on the toilet, looking at the blood stained panties she held in her hands, shaking.

They had landlines throughout the complex, but phones were a commodity not everybody in the city had. In this moment, L was more thankful he had it than he'd ever been before in his life.  A nurse picked up after a few rings and L relayed the necessary information in a frantic voice, “Yes. Apartment 29. Please hurry!” 

Hanging up the phone, he rushed back to Naomi. “Do you want to lie down?” He wasn’t sure what the fuck to do. 

“I'm not sure. I don't want to stain the sheets.”

Of course she was worried about sheets at a time like this. “You’re more important than sheets, Naomi,” L said, trying not to  wince as he got on his knees. Taking her hands, he took the soiled underwear from her and threw it in the waste basket behind him.  “What would make you feel best?”

“Laying down,” she agreed, finally.

“Ok,” he stood slowly, awkwardly, then helped her up. They made their way to the bedroom, which was directly across from the bathroom, conveniently enough. 

Their bed was more or less a hand made mattress on the floor with  old pillows and sheets. Surprisingly enough, it was pretty comfortable for what it was. Nobody had 'real’ beds anymore. That kind of luxury was a thing of the past. They were fortunate to have a mattress,  with sheets on it to boot. L helped Naomi into the bed, propping her up on the pillows so she was comfortable. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, I'm alright.” She wasn't in any pain, but it was still frightening to be bleeding this far along in her pregnancy. 

L held her hand as they waited for what felt like eternity for the doctor to arrive.  Naomi was stoic as ever, one hand on her stomach as she stared at it in thought. L quietly thought how thankful he was that they had access to a doctor for emergencies such as this.  So many people didn't. He wondered how many pregnant women died out there in those towns the government had abandoned.

When the doorbell rang, L ran the best his broken body could manage downstairs to answer the door. The doctor was a small, lean older man who was balding but insisted on keeping the patches of white hair on either side of his head. His eyes were in a permanent wince for some reason, his thin smile making the arrangement of facial features seem odd. L thanked him for coming and led the doctor upstairs to where Naomi lay. He stood in the corner like a lost child as the doctor asked her questions and began his exam. L watched on in silent horror as the doctor poked and prodded his wife. The man sat up on the bed and L tried not to feel disgusted when he snapped bloody gloves off his hands like it was nothing and tossed them in the waste basket by the bed. “Everything is alright,” he finally said with a smile.

L let out a long sigh of relief, his eyes catching Naomi's as they filled with tears, “Really?” She asked, smiling in disbelief as she rubbed her belly .

“Yes. Sometimes bleeds occur. You were right to call me. Take it easy the rest of the day and if it starts up again, give me a call,” he said.

The doctor packed up his things and L escorted him to the door, no shortage of thanks on his tongue. The doctor nodded and smiled in his wispy way as he headed out the door. L turned and went back upstairs one last time. His knees were toast and he was certainly not going back downstairs again today. 

Quietly he crawled into bed next to Naomi, kissing her belly and laying close to her on his face, arm around the base of her belly. She smiled and laughed at him under her breath. Men were such fickle creatures. The smallest upset wore them right out, she thought. L was one of the good ones, though. Moody at times, but also accidentally comical in the way he went about things. She genuinely enjoyed his company, and loved that he was giving her a son. L could be secretive sometimes without even meaning to be. He got in his moods where he wanted to be alone and she had to learn to deal with that. Sometimes she wished she knew him better, but then again, maybe what he allowed her to see was for the best. Not everything about every person was beautiful and good.


	5. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group gets attacked

Light woke up to the sound of people talking, fires cracking,  feet moving about. It was sunrise, and the camp was alive.  Sayu had awakened first, and she turned toward her brother,  sadness written all over her pretty face, “Someone died in the night,” she whispered to him, pulling her blanket tighter around her, “ the family has been crying all morning.”

Light nodded, honestly surprised more people hadn't died during the night. He wondered if they would start dropping off now that they had a literal mountain to climb. Someone came by and handed them each a bowl of rice with some kind of cooked meat in it. Light just stared at it at first. “Traps were set yesterday. They caught mice, rabbits and a fox,”  Sayu explained.

Light nodded again, digging his fingers into the bowl and scarfing down the hot food quickly.  It wasn't particularly tasty, but it was filling, and would certainly help get them th r ough the day. After eating, he and  Sayu both put their shoes back on. It was a painful endeavor, considering how sore  their feet were. 

They packed up their belongings and Light was throwing his rifle over his shoulder when he heard several screams. Looking in the direction of the screams, they saw strange looking people running and attacking their group , jumping down from the mountain cliffs . Guns fired as people tried to defend themselves, but the attackers had weapons too. He watched in horror as a woman was dragged by her legs, screaming, back through the mountain pass, disappearing toward the desert they just came from.

Light was  shakily aiming his rifle when  Souichiro found them, “Run! ” He yelled. “You and your sister get to safety. Now!”

Light wasn't about to disobey his father. Grabbing  Sayu’s hand, they took off down the mountain path before them as fast as they could. Neither looked back to see if they were being pursued; they just kept running. Their hearts pounded in their chests and lungs burned as they ran. The path began winding up the mountain and their legs burned as they pushed themselves up the path. Loose rocks rolled from under their feet, and  Sayu almost fell backwards . Light grabbed her and pulled her into him, shoving her in front of him  on the path  and yelling to keep going. The path grew more and more steep and eventually they were crawling up with the help of their hands.

As they went, they noticed the vegetation growing thicker.  “We can hide in this thick brush,” Light whispered, and the two  dove into it despite how it scratched their skin. They laid on their stomach's and tried to catch their breath, afraid their heavy breathing might give them away.  Light closed his eyes tight as he squeezed  Sayu’s hand, every little noise an animal made causing him to jump through his skin with fear.  Sayu tried desperately not to cry.

When nobody came after several minutes, they dared look at each other, both realizing they may just be in the clear. Light carefully sat up first and looked around. Then he pulled Sayu up, who glanced back from where they had just come, “Should we go back for Dad?”

“No,” Light said. Their father was probably dead. “He’ll catch up to us. Maybe he'll meet us at the city.”

Sayu nodded, but the pit of her stomach turned. She could tell  Light was hiding what he really felt, not saying what he really meant. There was no sense in pushing the issue, and as he stepped back onto the path, she followed. “How do you know where we’re going?”

“I studied the maps with dad in case we got separated. This is an old road the government used to use to bring aid to the cities that needed it. It’s been abandoned for a while, but hopefully it’s all still intact,” Light explained. There was an eventual bridge to cross and Light wondered if it was even still there.

Things were relatively quiet for the rest of the day with the exception of the wildlife they heard and saw fluttering between trees. They both marveled at it, having grown up in what was basically a desert wasteland. It helped their anxiety significantly to see how beautiful the growing forest was as they wound through the path and it dumped them out into a mountain valley. There was a fresh water stream, and they washed up in it, soaking their aching feet in the freezing water until they were numb. “We’ll camp here tonight,” Light said.  Sayu simply nodded as she laid back on the soft grass, feet still in the water.

They had run out of their dried vegetables by evening, and Light attempted to catch a fish in the river, much to  Sayu’s amusement. He’d taken to making a net from one of the thinner blankets and some sticks. It was really quite inventive. Finally, with less finesse than he would’ve liked, he caught one. Light was soaking wet and numb from the cold of the river, but he was proud of himself, and it showed.  Sayu continued to laugh from her place by the fire they’d made earlier.

“I don’t really know how to properly clean a fish, but I’m giving it my best shot,” Light said as he began cutting it against a rock with one of their knives.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,”  Sayu smiled.

He didn’t really do fine. The fish was pretty butchered when all was said and done but neither cared. They cooked it over the fire and ate it like it was the best thing they’d ever had. With a little food in their stomachs, they were able to lay down snuggled close together.  Sayu faced the dwindling fire and Light laid behind her to keep her warm. “What do you think it’s going to be like?” She asked.

“I don’t know, really. But I heard the big city has electricity in every house, and they have so much food that nobody starves or steals food.” Light mumbled, half asleep already.

“Do you think we’ll be happy there?”

“Yes,” he said as he dozed off, exhaustion taking over.

Light would sleep soundly until he was forced awake by the screams of his sister. It was still dark out and the fire had died, so he couldn’t see her attacker. He leapt off the ground, but was immediately knocked out. “LIGHT!”  Sayu screamed. She couldn’t tell if he was dead. He laid still, face down on the blankets.

“Well, well, now. This is my lucky night,” A voice made hoarse by years of cigarette abuse said. His nasty breath was hot in her face, and  Sayu wanted to gag, but was frightened of the man enough as to not want to offend him. She had stopped struggling and was now frozen in fear. This was it; they were going to die. 

The man blind folded and gagged her, then chained her wrists to her waist so she couldn’t remove any of it. Doing the same to Light, he grumbled about the boy not waking up and dumped cold water on him. Light’s head was pounding and he was disoriented as he jolted awake. The chains became taught and he began to feel a tremendous pull against him, dragging him. It took a moment, but he stumbled to his bare feet. He could sense  Sayu was next to him even though she was silent. They were without their backpacks, without their weapons, and without help, possibly walking straight to their deaths.


	6. Poor L Lawliet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L embarrasses himself. A little comedic relief and a look into what haunts our favorite detective all wrapped into one tasty fanfic burrito!

Despite the scare from the day before straightening him out mentally, L found himself in his office, sitting underneath his desk, pounding whiskey. Naomi left him food by the door but otherwise knew to let the brooding man do his thing. She figured it had to do with their scare, and she was mostly right. It had made him feel like  _ such an asshole. _ Here he was all this time bitching about his lot in life because he couldn’t openly be gay and fuck men. “Poor you,  Lawliet . People are out there fucking dying for no reason and you’re mad because you’ll never have the luxury of another man’s  peepee in your ass.” L laughed at himself as he missed his glass when he tried to pour himself another drink. “At least Mr. Anderson got his before he died.” L would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous. He’d also be lying if he said he didn’t keep the surveillance video hidden in his office.

Now that he’d reminded himself of it, L crawled out from under his desk and plopped down in his chair. Setting his drink aside on the desk and turning on his ancient monitor, he lazily unzipped his pants and pulled out his currently soft dick. He stared at it, “Oh just you wait. This is a fuckin’ treat, my friend.” It was the guiltiest of pleasures, the most wrong thing he could think to do. Maybe that’s why it was such a thrill.

There was a false bottom to one of the desk drawers, and he lifted it out with practiced eased to unveil a hidden videotape. It was funny, he thought. Before the war ended everything, things like this were obsolete and had been for years. Now, they heavily depended on them for convictions such as Mr. Anderson’s. He popped the tape into the player and the screen buzzed with nothing but static for a moment before a black and white picture of two men fucking came into view. The angle was alright, above and behind, so L could watch Mr. Anderson give it to Mr. Cooper. It was too bad there wasn’t any sound. That would’ve made it so much better.

L began jerking himself off as he watched the two men fuck and eventually change positions. This guilty pleasure of his never got old. “Ah, yes. Shove it down his throat, Coop,” L moaned as he pulled on his dick fast and hard. He could feel his orgasm beginning to build and curled his toes as he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the two men on screen. His favorite part was coming up. “Yes, come on. Do it to him. Yes, that’s it, Oh, oh,” L began to come the moment Mr. Cooper pulled out and ejaculated all over Mr. Anderson’s face. Ah, it was fucking glorious. The best part? Good ole’ Mr. Cooper licked that shit right up. Fucking kinky as hell. L wished he could’ve been a fly on the wall in that room. Ugh, he  could only imagine the noises those two made.

The worst part about it always came after. Sometimes it was right after, sometimes it took a while. Maybe it was his already emotional state causing him problems, but L turned off the video, put his head against his desk, and started to cry. It was his fault those men were dead. This tape was used to prove their indiscretion and he set it up, recorded it, turned it in, and now he uses it to get off to. He was truly a disgusting human being. 

L went to press his hands against his forehead, accidentally wiping come all in his hair. He pulled his head away from his hands and laughed as he cried.  _ I’m so fucking stupid.  _ L took the video out and threw it to the ground. Pants still halfway down, he stood and jumped on it, smashing the video. In his drunken and overzealous state, his pants fell to his ankles and he tripped over them, crashing into several boxes in the corner of the office.

“L! Are you  alri -” Naomi yelled as she flung the door open only to be met by her husband’s bare ass pointing at her, pants around his ankles, face hidden in a mess of  boxes. She burst into laughter and quickly pushed her knees together and covered her crotch with her hands, “Oh my God, I just peed!”

L pushed himself up and began laughing as well. Naomi had completely soaked her pants. They laughed together for a moment before L pulled his drunken  self off the floor and pulled up his pants. Naomi didn’t dare ask what he’d been doing. It was best she didn’t know. They both made their way upstairs to shower, which inevitably led to flirting, which led to sex. It wasn’t all he dreamed it would be; it never was. But he had a pretty vivid imagination and the whiskey helped a bit.

***

The next day at work was impossibly hard. His head pounded and at one point he threw up in the bathroom. He was pretty sure he smelled like a stale brewery, but nobody said anything. They seemed to drone on and on all day long about their planned attack on Kira. The group of young vigilantes was planning a raid on one of their major medical supply storage centers. They knew the group was targeting drugs like antibiotics and insulin as well as narcotic pain killers. It was assumed they’d attack at the end of the month when a fresh shipment of pain killers came in, but that was the only part of the information they had that was unclear still. If they didn’t get clarification from their sources, they’d have to plan to stake the place out for a while, which would suck.

L decided 4pm was a long enough day and cut out a little early. He didn’t even remember the train ride home. All he wanted to do was sleep. Naomi greeted him at the door with a kiss and an understanding sigh as he excused himself upstairs without dinner. She’d place a plate in their little fridge for him. He never ate enough; she was used to it. L was such a finicky man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited AF about this story and assume that means everybody is lmao so I'm posting the next chapter today as well! :D


	7. Horrors Abound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some explicit material. Consider this your warning.

Light could tell they’d entered a building of some kind. The floor was concrete, and it wasn’t much warmer inside the building than it was outside. His blind fold was yanked off and Light winced at how bright it was inside. The place looked like a warehouse with many windows, all blown out. The walls were rusted and trash was everywhere.  Sayu was no longer blindfolded, but she was bound to a metal pole and still gagged. 

“Be a good boy for me and I won’t hurt  the girl,” the man said. Light was finally able to get a good look at him. His age was hard to determine due to his face being hidden behind an out of control, stained beard. His hair was long and messy with a bald spot on top. Eyes evil. He was missing teeth and the few he had looked rotten. A bulbous stomach protruded out from his grey rain coat and his black gloves had holes in almost all the fingers. 

Light didn’t say anything, but he knew better than to believe  Sayu wouldn’t get hurt. There had to be a way out of this. There just had to. Well, there didn’t have to, actually. They honestly were probably going to die. Light wasn’t the kind to be optimistic. The man was incredibly strong and much larger than Light in every possible way. He grabbed Light by the arm and walked him forcefully over to a table. There, he shoved Light against it and strapped him down with what looked like straps the man had rigged to the table himself. Light knew what was coming and he mentally prepared for it. “ Sayu , close your eyes!” He said, and she listened, squeezing them tight as tears slid down her trembling cheeks.

“Oh, what a good brother you are,” he grumbled in Light’s ear. “But if she watches, I’ll go easier on  ya ,” he said with a wheezing laugh.

Sayu felt conflicted and opened one eye as the man strapped each of Light’s legs to a separate leg of the table. He then reached around Light and undid his pants, yanking them down to his knees. Light grit his teeth, the side of his face flush against the table, “ Sayu , please. What he does to me doesn’t matter. For  my sake , please don’t watch.” He was pleading with her. It was one thing to be raped. It was one thing for her to hear his screams of pain. It was another for her to see it.

“HA!” Light screamed in pain, his body jolting against the restraints as he felt the man shove himself inside with little more than spit as lube and no prep at all. The burning, tearing stretch made Light sick with pain as he felt himself being ripped in half. It was agony, but for the sake of his sister he tried not to scream again. As the man  thrust over and over, Light couldn’t hold back and began sobbing, crying out over and over again for  Sayu to keep her eyes closed. Eventually the thrusts felt like they had less friction, and Light wondered if his own blood was the lubricant at this point.

It seemed to last for eternity. Light thought he'd never be done.  It was all Light could do to not wish he was dead  in that moment, all he could do to bring his mind to another  place. At least  Sayu kept her eyes shut. The shame washed over Light as he finally felt the man rut, grunt, and  pump his hate inside of  him.

Light thought he'd feel relieved when the man pulled out, but he didn't. He just felt gross. Instead of untying him, the man pulled up his pants without cleaning himself off and walked over to Sayu. Light was shaking with rage. _He better not hurt her._ Sayu cowered, but the man simply uncuffed her. She stared at him for a minute, then he said, “Get a bucket of water and a rag from the sink over there and clean him off. Damn boy has got blood everywhere.”

Light winced. _Oh, God no. _The last thing he wanted was Sayu cleaning up his rectal bleed from being raped and that disgusting excuse for a man knew it. He opened his eyes and watched as Sayu slowly made her way over to the sink and turned on the tap. After filling the small bucket, she made her way over to Light without looking at him. “The water is warm, Light. It should make you feel better.”

He didn't say anything as she gently cleansed his legs, wiping up the small trail of blood. She wiped the drying stains off his cheeks, but knew she'd have to go between them. _Forgive me. _He didn't even flinch when she pulled his cheeks apart gently and wiped away the blood around his anus. The water was tinted red when she was finished, and she pulled his pants back up and buckled them for him. When she brought the pale back around to dump it, she caught a glimpse of his face and it was like the life had left his eyes. Sayu knew in that moment that Light had changed, and he would never be the same again.

Eventually the man untied Light and he slumped into a pile on the floor. His legs had gone numb from staying in that position for so long. His chest, back and neck ached. He didn't care about the pain though. He didn't care about anything. Light wanted to disappear into an endless abyss. Becoming nothing at all never sounded more appealing to him than it did in that moment. Light closed his eyes and prayed to any God that might be listening to just let him disappear.

His prayer would be cut short when the man came back over and  pulled him off the floor. Light stumbled on wobbly legs over to the pipe  Sayu was once again attached to and watched as he was cuffed to it as well. The man then left the room and did not return.


	8. Domestic Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L goes out into the field with Matsuda

It was high time L did some actual policing according to his boss, so he and Matsuda were sent out on a domestic call.  These types of calls were relatively routine but also often quite dangerous given the recent rise in marital murders, or M&M's as the team liked to call them.  L didn't feel nervous about the call until they actually got to the apartment complex. That's when his heart started beating faster and he broke out in a cold sweat.

“You alright?” Matsuda asked as they  approached the unit.

“Yeah, fine,” L lied.

Matsuda shrugged and knocked. “Open up, police!” He announced in his most commanding voice. It almost sounded comical coming from the green bean.

It sounded like something was being shuffled around, some yelling, and  then the sound of a door closing. “He's going out the back, I'll cut him off,” L instinctively said as he tried to take off,  momentarily forgetting about his leg. It was painful to run, and he was slow, but he saw the guy talking off across  grassy lawn in the back toward the trees. “Stop or I'll shoot!” L called. The man continued booking it so L fired a warning shot. That must've spoken to him, because he stopped and hit his knees,  placing his hands on his head.

L jogged up to him, pissed all to hell that he had to run. “You're under arrest,” he  panted , reciting the guys very limited rights as he cuffed him in a  not so gentle fashion and tugged him to standing. They made their way back to the apartment where Matsuda was talking to a cute red head with mascara tear stains on her face. It was the same sob story they'd heard a million times. A fight broke out between them and escalated.  They'd reached a point where they were screaming and breaking things, so a neighbor called the cops. The red head swore her husband never laid a hand on her.

“Well, it's not against the law to have a bad temper. It _ is _ against the law to run from a cop.  I'll let you go this time, but next time I'm taking you in,” L explained as he  uncuffed the guy.

The husband was young and tattooed and possibly in a local gang. L had a strong feeling they'd be back. He just hoped it wasn't for a murder investigation. Th at girl was too pretty to be stuck with a guy like this.  It was possible to petition for divorce, but it was difficult to accomplish with the way things worked nowadays.  People were afraid to break the law with how strict and lethal punishment was for abandoning a marriage.  They figured it was easier to just take the abuse. The things people put up with for food and a warm place to sleep was astounding.

On their walk back to the train station, L felt the need to confide in Matsuda. He hoped it wasn't a mistake. “I almost shot that young man back there.”

“Really?”  Matsuda seemed genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, I fired a warning shot and had he not dropped when he did, the second one would've gone through his head. He almost died for no reason.”

“I mean, he ran from you though.”

“That's no reason to die,” L said. “Don't you sometimes think the punishments we dish out are a little harsh? ”

“I mean, not really.  Considering the world we live in, I mean. We have to be harsh or things would spin out of control. You know that.”

“Yeah,” L dropped it. He wasn't convinced of that little 'fact’ the academy drilled into their heads. He didn't think humanity would delve into an unsustainable downward spiral just because you allowed individuality and offered lesser punishments for lesser crimes.  Then again, maybe he was still just sore that being gay got you killed. 

The train ride back was filled with Matsuda talking about his kids incessantly while L pretended to care.  Apparently Misa was due with their third around the time Naomi was due with their first. “They could do playdates together!” Matsuda suggested cheerfully.

“Oh, I'm sure Naomi would be _ thrilled.”  _ L was glad the guy was too daft to catch onto his sarcasm. He wondered briefly what it would be like to be a happy idiot like Matsuda. All his droning on gave L a head ache, and he couldn't wait for this day to be over.

When they finally arrived back at the precinct,  their Captain met them at the door, “Turn around and go back gentlemen,” he said.

Matsuda laughed, “What? Why?”

L's heart sank as the Captain continued, “Your domestic has just graduated to a homicide.”

_ God  _ _ damnit _ _ ! I knew it!  _ L could have kicked himself for letting that guy go. He should've trusted his gut when it told him to arrest that guy, that he was no good.  “Fuck,” he said out loud as he scuffed the ground with his boots and rubbed his aching forehead with his hands. “Should have shot him when I had the chance.”

“Oh, no. You've got it backwards. She shot _ him.  _ Now she's hiding in the apartment apparently, claiming she's pregnant.” The Captain explained.

“So we can't just take her out, great,” L rolled his eyes.  Everything was always so damn complicated. “ Aizawa coming? He's your best negotiator.”

“Yes  I am!”  Aizawa shouted as he bounced out the door and down the steps, his fro bouncing almost comically with him. “Let’s go!”

The captain and  Aizawa accomplished L and Matsuda back to the apartment.  A couple of other police officers had already taped off the site and were urging curious neighbors to go back inside their homes.  Muffled crying could be heard behind the door, and according to the officers who were there, no move had been made to go in or for the suspect to come out. They'd been too busy trying to secure their crime scene.

Aizawa knocked on the door then tried the handle. It was unlocked. He shrugged, “Cover me,” he whispered to L, who nodded and already had his weapon drawn. Louder, “I'm coming in! I am not here to hurt you, miss. My name is Officer  Aizawa . I just want to make sure you're ok.”

“Ok,” came the warbled answer. The pretty redhead was sitting in the corner of the kitchen, knees drawn up as she cried into them.

“Are you armed, miss?”  Aizawa asked, inching closer.

She lifted her puffy, red face to him and shook her head, “No.”

“Ok, good. Are you hurt?” He rounded the corner into the kitchen.

“Yes,” she sniffled, shaking.

“Alright, I would like to bring you to a hospital. Can you walk?”

She nodded and reached up to take the hands he offered, pulling herself off the floor.  She looked pretty beat up and walked with a limp. “I'm pregnant. He hit me in the stomach.”

“You’ll be ok. We're going to the hospital right now, ok?”  Aizawa assured her as he helped her along. L walked behind them, feeling sorry for the girl. From what he could see of the mess inside the apartment, it had been self defense. 

Matsuda and the Captain stayed behind to process the crime scene. L was honestly glad to be stuck with Aizawa and the girl even though he'd had enough of the hospital for the rest of his life. Despite her obvious trauma and disheveled appearance, the girl really was quite beautiful. Her red curly hair was quite sexy and wild, and she had a fit figure. The three of them got multiple stares on the train, but nobody said a word.

At the hospital,  Aizawa was gracious enough to let L head back to the precinct while their suspect got checked out. He was thankful, but couldn't wait to just go home and get this day over with. It sucked that he made the mistake of letting that guy go.  He should've brought him in, done something. Hell, maybe if he'd held him for twenty four hours he would've calmed down and still be alive.  L sighed as the train rattled on its tracks. 


	9. Atrocities in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayu and Light's nightmare continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is your warning for graphic content.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Keeping his back to his sister, Light sat hunched against the pole. Neither had any idea how long they'd been there, and  Sayu had given up trying to talk to Light hours ago. Her throat felt so dry it was like sand paper every time she swallowed. Her stomach ached to be filled  with any kind of food.  Eventually Light slid down to the cold floor on his side, and Sayu could see the blood stain on his pants, reminding her of the time a girl she knew unexpectedly started her period while they were playing. It worried her beyond her own immediate needs. Could he die from this? It didn't look like a lot of blood, but  Sayu didn't know how much was _ enough.  _

They were both startled by the creaking sound of a rusty metal door swinging open and then shut again. Following that sound were the heavy footsteps and labored breathing of their captor. Light began to shake, unable to control his fear. There was a good chance this man wasn’t through with him yet. They could hear him grumble as he shuffled into the room where they were. “Good news, princess. I found a buyer for you. Gonna pay a sweet price for your virgin ass,” he wheezed as he laughed, which evolved into a hacking cough. Turning to Light, the man placed his hands on his hips and leaned down, “I have to admit you've got a pretty sweet ass, as well. Might keep you as a pet for a little while.”

Filled with disgust, Light spit right in the man's face, striking his eye. He stumbled backward as he wiped his face, “You little bastard!”  Lunging forward, he slapped Light hard across the face, knocking his head into the pole. Dizzy and unable to gather himself up to fight back, the man took advantage of Light's disoriented state and unchained him from the pole, dragging him to the table.

“Stop! Stop it! You'll kill him!”  Sayu screamed, face red and tears streaming.

This time he tore Light’s clothes off completely when he strapped him to the table, then stepped away to admire his work. “I'll teach you both!” He said as he picked up a cat o’ nine tails. Turning back to Light, he shoved himself inside Light once more. This time Light let out  little more than  a gargled whimper. The man lashed across Light's back with the whip, drawing blood. Light arched painfully against his restraints as he cried out. “Keep your eyes opened, girl! Every time you look away from this I'm  gonna strike him!”

A horrified  Sayu watched on as her brother’s limp body was pounded against the table from behind. She winced, and that seemed enough for the man to justify another lashing. No amount of begging or pleading could stop him.  Sayu sobbed uncontrollably, screaming as loud as her hoarse voice would allow. Her stomach twisted in knots as she watched on, the man grunting with every forceful thrust and Light, lifeless across the table, unable to move. 

When a wicked grin came across the man’s face and he stopped thrusting,  Sayu knew she was in trouble. Kicking his pants off entirely, he pulled out of Light, uncaring about the mess streaming down Light’s legs or all over his own shaft. Disgusted,  Sayu tried to look away, but he approached her and grabbed her face, “You’re  gonna help me out, you little slut.” Releasing her from the pole, he dragged her over to Light. “Now you sit here like a good girl or your brother dies, got it?”

She swallowed hard as she sat there, trembling, trying to nod her head in understanding. The man unstrapped Light, who slid to the ground in a lump of dead weight. The man pushed him up against the table, rigging the leg straps to hold Light’s arms in place. Turning to  Sayu , he said, “Suck him off.”

She froze, unable to respond to this humiliating and disgusting request. The man bent over and rifled through his pants pockets, pulling out a blade. He pressed it to Light’s throat, a drop of blood sliding down his neck. “Do it or I slit his throat and force you to suck  _ me  _ off.”

Crawling on her hands and knees,  Sayu silently obeyed. When she dipped her head down between her brother’s legs, she hesitated, tears dripping onto his thighs where she hovered. “I’m going to be sick,” she managed to choke out. With a deep breath to will away the nausea, she closed her eyes and engulfed her brother’s flaccid cock, pretending it was someone else. She pretended it was the cute boy from her little desert town she used to have a crush on when she was younger. She choked and sobbed on the mound as it began to harden in her mouth, Light groaning in his unawareness. Above her, their captor began stroking himself, moaning and chuckling to himself as he watched the young girl struggle with her task. “Oh, come on sweetie, put some real effort into it. The sooner he comes in your mouth the sooner it’s over for you.”

Light was beginning to gain consciousness, and for a moment thought it was an old girlfriend between his legs. “What...what’s going on?” He still had trouble lifting his head, and the exhaustion he felt was almost overwhelming. It took a while before he realized it was  Sayu . “What the hell are you doing! Stop!” He thrashed against the restraints and tried to twist his body away from her.

Sayu pulled off for a moment, but looked down while she sat on her knees. “I have to, Light. He will kill you if I don’t and then I will have to do him...”

“ Sayu ,” Light whispered, tears in his eyes. She got back to work and began sucking hard, with purpose. She was determined to get this over with. Light yelped and hissed, confused by what he was feeling. He didn’t want his body to respond to this, it was revolting. He knew he needed to allow it to happen, however. They had no other choice.

The man standing above them began moaning loudly as he stroked, glad to see how obedient the girl could be. He hadn’t needed to step in at all, and it heightened his pleasure to see that Light was now awake and horrified. “Oh, ah!” He clenched his eyes shut and ejaculated in  Sayu’s hair and on her back. He would’ve preferred her face, but she was busy.

Light felt enraged at the humiliation his sister was enduring. She didn’t stop, however, and Light began to try and focus on coming so this could all finally be over. Closing his eyes, he remembered the one time he got away with secret sex with a boy he really fancied. They’d hidden themselves away in an abandoned building, half the thrill was in the possibility of being caught. It was difficult to focus with his fuzzy, throbbing mind and all the horror going on around him, but he managed to finally come.

Sayu tried to pull away but heard, “Don’t you dare! Swallow it, you little whore!”

She placed her mouth back over Light and felt the warm goo rush into her mouth. When she tried to swallow, she immediately gagged. Pulling off and leaping to the side, she vomited next to Light, unable to help herself. She could hear the man laugh as Light asked if she was ok. She couldn’t respond, however, because she continued heaving and puking. Finally, she sat up and wiped her mouth. “I’m fine,” she whispered.

“Clean up your mess,” the man ordered as he walked over to Light and began unstrapping him. As  Sayu made her way to the sink to fill a bucket with warm water and get a rag, he dragged Light back over to the pole. Not bothering to allow him to be clothed or cleaned up again, he cuffed Light back to the pole and left him shivering on the hard floor. A knock on the metal door to the outside caught the man’s attention, and he threatened  Sayu as he went to answer. It was probably her buyer.


	10. A Baby is Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet L and Naomi's son!

Naomi sighed sympathetically as L relayed the stressful events of his day to her. Running pregnancy swollen fingers through his hair, she kissed his forehead as she left a drink of whiskey before him on the dinner table. “Thank you,” L said without a smile as he leaned into her touch. Naomi was such a good woman, never gave him any trouble. He knew he didn't deserve her. 

Clearing the table of their dinner plates, she left her husband to his solitary thoughts and drink. It was his nature to process these kinds of things alone. It had only been recently that he started sharing what bothered him with her. She was hopeful it was leading to more trust, more intimacy. 

“Oh!” Naomi cried out as she buckled over the sink, dropping the dishes with a clatter. Thankfully nothing broke and everything landed inside the sink.

L shot up from his seat and rushed to her, “What is it?”

“The baby,” she gasped as she held her stomach. “I think he's coming.”

It was too early and they both knew it. But judging by Naomi’s facial expression, these weren't Braxton Hicks contractions. Grabbing the phone off the wall, L dialed up the doctor with shaky fingers, trying not to panic. He spoke fast and clear, a sense of urgency in his trembling voice. Once he’d hung up the phone, he walked Naomi slowly to their bedroom.

L was frantic and useless as Naomi moaned in pain where she lay on the bed. All he could do was hold her hand and stroke her hair as her face twisted in pain with each contraction. They were growing closer together and if the doctor didn't hurry, the baby would be delivered without him. 

“L! Oh God I think he's coming!” Naomi screamed, knees bent and hands pressed into her belly as she winced. 

_Fuck_, L thought. He did have emergency training for events like this, though he felt under qualified and inexperienced. That soon didn't matter, however, because as he slid down to take a look between his wife's legs, he gulped. This baby was coming! 

“Naomi, baby, you need to push, ok?” L instructed as he sat at the foot of the bed and prepared to deliver his son. It felt almost unreal, like some kind of dream or maybe a nightmare. Naomi's cries brought him right back to reality as she pushed, however.

“This sucks!” she screamed, and L would've laughed under any other circumstances.

“It does, but you're almost there,” he encouraged, “One more push!”

Naomi screamed and the baby cried as it fell into L's hands. In that moment, the door flung open and the doctor rushed in, surprise on his face at the scene before him. _Thank God_, L thought as he joined Naomi in crying, completely overwhelmed. Despite the early delivery, she'd given birth to a healthy boy with thick black hair and pale skin. There was no mistaking who the father was. 

The doctor and his nurse took over from there, and L excused himself to wash off the after birth and change clothes. By the time he returned, it was to be congratulated as the doctor shook his hand and smiled. “Thank you,” L managed. The doctor left to tend to other patients, leaving the new parents to bond with their son.

Even though she was clearly exhausted, L thought Naomi never looked more beautiful as she began to breast feed their baby. Smiling tearfully at L, she called him over, “Come meet your son.”

“He’s so perfect,” L whispered as he kissed the top of his wife's head. L felt himself choke up, and he covered his mouth to stifle a sob. He was a father now. The weight of that responsibility crushed him as the love he felt for that tiny baby made him feel simultaneously weightless. L didn't think he could possibly love anyone more. 

Suddenly, it was ok that there was a mandate to produce children. It was ok that he was forced into this marriage. It was completely worth it. He wondered how many more children they would have together, and began to realize that he could be happy in this life after all. That he already was happy.

“Do you want to hold him?”

“Yes.” L held his arms out and was surprised by how soft and warm his baby was. He couldn't help his tears as he looked down into that sweet, sleepy face. “I love you little man. No matter what happens, I will always love you, ok?”

Naomi smiled at the sweet moment between father and son. Eye lids heavy, she gave way to the sweet call of sleep as L continued speaking lovingly to their son. He promised to be the father he never had, and to do his very best to always be there for him. L thought about his life as an orphan, how Watari had taken him in, made him who he was. It was because of Watari that he survived, and L wished the old man were here now to see this. “Did you know you're named after the man who adopted me? Your full name is Zachary Quillish Lawliet. It's unusual, I know. But you'll learn to love it.”

Eventually the family of three all fell asleep together, L sleeping lightly, ever aware of the baby next to him. He'd be calling into work the next day, he knew. Nobody would mind once they knew why. L didn't want to miss a moment of his first day as a dad. He wanted to change that first diaper, give that first bath. Sure, Naomi would be giving the majority of the care once L went back to work, but he wanted to enjoy these precious moments. They would be too few, he knew.

For the first time in his life, L was up before the dawn without begrudging it. He carried baby Quill to the changing station and pinched up his face, “You stink little man!” Quill just cooed and smiled up at L as he changed him. 

Naomi had awoken, sore and tired, but happy to see her family by her side. She accepted the baby from L and he left her with a kiss to go make them breakfast. It wasn't often that he got to cook, and breakfast was easy enough. He missed the days of bacon and steak and eggs for breakfast. Eventually those things would be widely available again. At least, that was the hope. It seemed every year things got a little better. 

He carried two plates of scrambled eggs and pancakes up to the bedroom. Naomi had finished feeding Quill and he was sleeping soundly next to her again. She accepted the food and ate it quickly, L smiling at her as she dug in, not caring in the slightest about manners. When she was finished, he took the plates. “Do you mind watching him while I bathe? I feel disgusting.”

“Not at all. I'll start the bath for you,” he said as he stood from the bed and put the plates aside on a nightstand. He added Epsom salt to the water to help soothe her, and laid back on the bed for a mid morning nap with baby Quill as Naomi made her way into the bathroom. Smiling as he snuggled his little bundle of joy, L couldn't help but feel a certain happiness come over him, a certain comfort. This life wasn’t everything he wanted it to be, but it was enough.


	11. Escaping Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and Sayu are rescued

Not even  Sayu’s screams could rouse Light from where he lay unconscious on the cold floor.  The beating he'd taken was too much for him to handle. His fresh wounds bled freely,  deep across his back. The scars they were bound to leave would be a horrifying reminder of his suffering for the remainder of his life.

The man  muffled  Sayu with a gag once again. He’d used the blood stained rag from when  Sayu cleaned her brother, and she wondered how one man could be so disgustingly cruel. As she sat on her knees, legs and arms bound, she took in her 'buyer'. He was a young man, handsome and lean with dirty blond hair. He didn’t  _ look  _ cruel, but there was a hardness about him and a scar above his right eye. He was accompanied by two other young men around the same age.  One had dark brown hair and the other auburn hair like her brother. 

They spoke in hushed tones with the large man ,  occasionally casting glances  Sayu’s way. She thought she heard the blond one, who appeared to be the leader of the small group, say something about Light.  The man grumbled and looked Light’s way, “He's not worth the trouble, honestly.”

“I'll be the judge of that. How much do you want for him?”

The man placed his hands on his hips and thought for a minute,  looking back and forth between Light and the buyers. “Oh, what the hell. Give me another hundred and you've got a deal.”

They shook on it, and even though  Sayu didn't know where they were going, at least they'd be together.  The large man  uncuffed Light and shook him awake with slight success. The two young men who came in with the blond walked over to  Sayu , and she shook as they reached for her. They weren't rough with her like she was expecting.  As they walked her out, one of them whispered in her ear, “We’re Kira, and we're here to help you. Do not be afraid.” 

Outside there were several tacked horses with two women holding them, waiting with torches  to light the way . Tears silently streamed down  Sayu’s face as her gag was removed and ties cut. As she was helped onto a horse, she looked back over her shoulder as the blond carried Light out.

“He looks dead,” one of the women stated matter of  factly .

“ He'll pull through. I have a feeling about this one.” The blond said. The woman rolled her eyes at him as the two other men helped Light onto a horse, strapping him down so he wouldn't fall off. The blond had managed to clothe Light before they came out, and  Sayu looked forward again, thankful for their rescuers.

The horses began to walk on slowly, winding down dark paths through unfamiliar forests. The only thing keeping  Sayu from being terrified was the new company she was in and the fact that Light was still alive. She'd look back and cast glances his way every once in a while. He moaned at one point, and the blond tried to talk to him as they rode, never leaving Light’s side.  It seemed that Light was coming in and out of consciousness but was unable to really speak or understand what was going on. 

The morning sun cast a brilliant glow upon the party as they travelled on, and  Sayu realized one of the women had long, thick wavy purple hair. It was a dark purple,  like a plum color. The other was blond and  Sayu wondered if she was related to the guy who saved Light.

They came to an abandoned building amidst a large fenced in field, where other horses and live stock grazed. Children, teens and adults alike played and worked outside, some washing in the river, others tending to the garden.  Sayu found herself giggling at a man chasing off a goat who’d gotten into his squash. It was the first time she’d smiled in a while. 

Several people paused their activities to watch the group ride by.  They stopped at the front of the old building and dismounted.  Sayu copied their actions and got off her horse. She looked back and noticed the blond guy pulled Light off his horse. He carried Light into the building and the women walked off with the horses. “Come with us,” the brunette guy said.

Inside, the building was much cleaner than  Sayu expected. A tall, slender women in a white lab coat gave Light a sympathetic look as she instructed the blond to place him on a table. She gathered supplies and set up an IV for him. Turning to the blond, she said, “We’re running painfully low on supplies. You keep bringing me projects but not supplies.”

“I know. We're raiding the city soon, I promise,” he said.

She gave him a look that told  Sayu they'd known each other quite a long time. The blond left and the woman turned her attention to  Sayu . “I'm doctor Margret  Styles. Everyone here calls me Margie. Are you alright? What's your name?”

“S- Sayu ,” she muttered. “Will my brother be alright?”

Margie glanced down at her patient, “Yes, I think so.”

“Thank you for helping him,”  Sayu said, finding a chair to sit in.

“Of course. It's what we do,” Margie smiled. She was a beautiful middle aged woman with black hair. She looked strained, worried.  Sayu wondered what about. “I'm sure you're hungry.  I think it'll be ok to leave your brother for just a minute. Follow me, please.” 

Margie led say through a door and down a hall to what appeared to be a community bathroom. She handed her a towel and clean clothes. “Go ahead and shower. I'll have a meal brought over for.”

Sayu thanked her and couldn't wait to feel the hot water against her skin. It was magical. She did wonder how the hell they had running hot water out in the middle of nowhere like this, but she didn't wonder long. The steamy shower was so soothing, rinsing away the evidence of her hardship.  They were finally safe here with these Kira people, whoever they were. 

When she returned to  her brothers side, there was a hot meal and water to drink waiting for her.  Sayu practically inhaled it.  Margie showed her to the bunk room, where  Sayu was able to lay down and get the best sleep she'd ever had.

While  Sayu slept, Light woke up. He was dazed, but calm. Somehow he knew they'd been rescued. Margie was quick to assure him  Sayu was fine and offer him food, which he accepted.  His back was incredibly sore, and Margie gave him a bottle of antibiotics to prevent infection. She wished she could do more, but she was out of any kind of topical analgesic.  “I drew some blood. I plan to run some tests.”

“Tests?” Light asked.

“To see if you have any STI's from the kind of abuse you endured,” she tried to say it gently.

“ Oh,” Light nodded and continued eating his food. He hid the fact that it felt like a stab in the gut to be reminded of what he went through. She was just trying to help, he knew.

Once Light was well enough to walk on his own, he made it to the bunk room where he laid down in a bed and did not move for days.  Sayu tried to get him up, but it was no use. If he wasn’t asleep he just stared blankly at the wall.  Dr. Margie dropped by with his test results. He was clean, but that news garnered no reaction from him at all.

There were nights Light could be heard quietly crying, and it only ever seemed to wake  Sayu .  Her heart ached for her brother. Despite having also been tormented, she couldn't imagine the pain he endured. One night she couldn't take listening to him anymore and got out of her bed and walked over to him.  She slid under the covers and wrapped her arms around him. “You stink,” she whispered.

Light began laughing through his tears and squeezed her hands in his. She was a good sister, and he needed to get it together for her.  Eventually they fell asleep and when  Sayu woke at first daylight, Light was out of bed.  She rose to go find him, and smiled softly when she saw a freshly showered Light eating breakfast with the blond who saved them. She now knew his name was Nicola , and he went by Nic. 

As she approached, they both looked up and acknowledged her, then went back to their conversation as she sat across the table from them. “ I understand your desire for revenge, I do. And I'll grant it to you. But we cannot move until we know his other contacts. It isn't just him.  There's an entire group of people spanning the continent, possibly into other countries.”

Light nodded as he listened, “I want to help take them down. Let me be a part of this.”

“Ok,”  Nic said, “ Get your strength up. We have a meeting about it tonight.”

Light nodded as Nic excused himself. “How are you feeling?” Sayu asked.

“Angry,” Light said with honesty, “I'm so angry  Sayu , and I don't know what to do with it.”

“ Funnel that anger into giving that sick bastard what he deserves,” she said.

Light smiled and laughed under his breath. It wasn't often that she swore.  She seemed to be doing well at their new home.  Being here had already done her a lot of good. She'd gained weight and had started earning her keep by helping care for the animals.  “ I love you, Say-Say.”

“I love you too, Li-Li,” she smiled. “I'm going to eat and then tend to the animals if you'd like to help me.” She stood and looked over her shoulder to make sure  Nicola couldn't hear her , then turned back to her brother , “I think he likes you, by the way. He checked on you every day when you were out of it. If I didn't know better I’d say he's crushing pretty bad.”

Light hitched and blushed, “Get out of here with that,” he smiled. She winked and went off to fetch herself breakfast. Light grinned madly to himself as he finished his meal because he had to admit he really liked Nicola too.

***

That evening, he attended the meeting with Nicola, noticing how the other man seemed to enjoy walking a little too close to him. He chose a seat next to Light as well, and Light couldn't help but notice he smelled like pine and something else. Something wild and attractive that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Then it occurred to Light that since they were living off the grid, perhaps homosexuality was allowed here?  Light didn't know the rules yet and didn't want to rock the boat or risk getting kicked out.  There seemed to be just as many single adults as there were couples. None of them were forced to be together either. Light had only ever imagined a world where he  was free to love who he wanted without fear.

During the meeting Light learned that they were only a few miles from the big city he and  Sayu had set out to find. He also learned that he was surrounded by pretty smart people, and that the borders of their compound were not only regularly patrolled, but booby trapped.  They were known as a terrorist group by the police, and Nicola was top of their most wanted list as the founder of Kira.  It only made the man that much more attractive to Light.

He learned of their plans to raid a large infirmary as well as what information they had on the sex trafficking ring. It seemed Kira was quite busy, and Light couldn't wait to be a part of it.  Nicola showed him the armory after the meeting and promised to teach Light everything he knew about combat. In his eyes, Light was a survivor. Nicola could tell he was intelligent and felt Light would be a great asset to them.

Light made his way to Dr. Margie’s lab to get his back wounds checked and the dressing changed. He walked in, but the lights were off and she wasn’t there. “Hello?” 

“The  Laverti girl went into labor about an hour ago. She won't be back for a while,” Nicola said as he entered behind Light and walked over to one of the fridges hosting a multitude of medicine bottles. He grabbed one with a clear liquid and stuck a syringe in the top of it. He then changed out the needle and lifted his shirt, stabbing himself in the stomach and injecting the medication just beneath the skin.

“What are you doing?” Light asked, sounding far more alarmed than he'd intended.

Nicola tossed the emptied syringe in the red  bucket they used as a make shift Sharps container and smiled. “Do you know why I started Kira?”  Light shook his head, sitting on the metal table with his hands on the edge, trying to regulate his breathing as Nicola approached him. “When I was eighteen I found out I was type one diabetic.  It's easily managed with insulin, but the town I was from wasn’t getting enough supplies to help me. I was going to die from something completely treatable, and I just couldn't accept that.”

“Oh wow,” Light had no idea it was so personal for Nicola.

Nicola walked behind Light, “Take off your shirt,” he said. Light gulped but did as he was told. “I'm no doctor but I think I can change your bandages without screwing up too much.” He gathered  gauze ,  scissors, and salve and placed it next to Light on the table. Slowly, he removed the sticky bandages, revealing the deep stripes across Light's back. “They’re healing well,” he commented, swallowing hard and glad Light couldn't see as he admired the young man's body. 

Stepping away, Nicola tossed out the bandages and wet a rag. Gently, he wiped away the old medicine and cleaned up the oozing  wounds. He continued his story, “I gathered four of my closest friends and we raided our first infirmary. Pretty soon we realized it wasn't enough, so we left our town to find wealthier places to raid. That's how all this started.”

Light could feel his finger tips linger against his skin as  Nicola applied the medicine to his back. Light couldn't deny the touch was a turn on, but he focused as much as he could on not getting aroused.  Next, Nicola applied the bandages, going slowly and gently so as not to cause Light more discomfort. “All done,”  Nicola said, and Light swore his breath tickled the hair on the back of his neck.

“Thank you,” Light said as Nicola walked around the table to face him, standing so close that he could feel his breath against his face.

“Any time,”  he whispered, eyes shamelessly roving over Light's exposed torso.  Leaning in,  Nicola smiled crookedly as he reached for the gauze and scissors. “Guess I should put this away.”

Light swallowed hard as he watched Nicola put everything back in its place.  Getting a grip on himself, Light slid his shirt back over his head.  It was clear they wanted each other, so what was holding Nicola back? Maybe they did have some kind of rule against being gay after all. That would be a real shame, Light thought as he slid off the table. 


	12. The Death of a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The police force loses one of their own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little graphic, so proceed at your own risk.

L kissed Naomi and Quill goodbye as he headed back to work in the morning. His sense of purpose was renewed, and L felt the instinct to provide for his growing family. His train ride was quiet, and he passed his time thinking about his family and how excited he was now that Quill was here. Excitement and congratulations filtered through the precinct as hands patted L's shoulder and shook his hand. They asked about the baby and Naomi, welcoming L into club fatherhood with open arms. Surely, having children was one adventure they were glad to see he would not miss out on.

A report found its way onto L's desk regarding the red head he'd left at the hospital.  It confirmed her pregnancy and that no charges would be brought against her. L was satisfied with that. The government gave priority go helping single mom’s, so he knew she would be ok.  Eventually she'd be matched with a new man, and L hoped it worked out better for her this time.

“Hey man,  wanna go on another domestic with me today?”  Matsuda asked as he leaned against L's desk with a stupid grin on his face.

L sighed and shrugged, “Sure.” He had nothing better to do. Standing from his chair, L stretched and followed Matsuda out to the train station.

“Your limp is getting better,” Matsuda noticed.  He shut up when L glared at him. Yes, it was getting better everyday, but L didn't like to be reminded of it.

The train ride was relatively quiet with the exception of Matsuda asking about Quill occasionally. L pretended to be interested in when Misa was due with their third, but all of Matsuda’s answers went in one ear and out the other. He was thankful when their stop came up so he didn't have to continue talking.

As they approached the little farmers cottage,  Matsuda stepped in front of the door and L stood off to the side like normal,  hand at the ready on his gun.  With his booming voice that would always sound comical to L, Matsuda announced, “Police! Open up!” as he banged on the door.

The door flung open and before either he or Matsuda could react, the barrel of a shotgun was placed in front of Matsuda’s face. The blast was so loud that L's ears were ringing as blood splattered all over his shocked face. Matsuda flew back and hit the ground . L pulled his gun and began shooting through the door.  He heard what he thought was a body drop to the ground and he stepped into the doorway to find the gun man dead. L entered the house and found his wife dead as well along with their two children. “Fuck,” L muttered as he reached for their phone to call it in.

When back up arrived , L was found in the bathroom shaking, trying to get the blood off  himself.  Aizawa put a hand on L's shoulder to stop him. “I'll take you home, L.”

Shaking, L turned wide eyes to Aizawa. He couldn't shake the image of Matsuda’s scattered brain seeping out of the back of his head. Aizawa sighed and led L out of the bathroom. L stared at the blood stains outside the front door where Matsuda’s body once was. It was all he could do not to throw up as they walked by. Everything was a haze. L didn't even remember the train ride home or Aizawa telling Naomi he'd been traumatized.

She gave him a hot cup of tea. “Where’s Quill?”

“ Sleeping,” she said, sitting beside him on the couch.

“I don't want to wake him,” L said. Placing the tea on the coffee table, he cradled his head in both hands as he sobbed. “He died right in front of me, Naomi.”

“I know, baby. I'm so sorry,” she placed a hand tenderly on his back as he cried. 

“Oh God,” L lifted his face in realization, “His wife. They have three kids. ”  L stood and walked to his son's room, Naomi following behind. Not another word was spoken as L  placed his hands on the side of the crib and stared down at his son. He remembered the bodies of the two young toddlers inside that cottage and shuddered.  This was easily the worst thing L had ever witnessed. He knew the Captain would put him on mandatory leave.  He was alright with that. More time with Quill, he thought.  Precious time. Why did he suddenly feel like he wouldn't have enough of it?

He spent the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep. When he did close his eyes he relived the nightmare of Matsuda’s death. Misa was crying, screaming for him with their children. Suddenly he found himself running down an endless hallway, trying to find Quill but unable to. He woke up in a sweat, terrified. It took several minutes for him to calm down and realize it was all just a terrible dream.

Naomi was careful not to wake him in the morning. He finally seemed to be sleeping peacefully . When the phone rang, she knew it was the Captain. Just as predicted, L had the next few days off to deal with what had happened.  The Captain asked that L call back when he was up for it, and Naomi promised to relay the message.

When L finally sat up in bed, it was noon. Naomi brought him coffee,  Quill strapped to her chest. “Can I hold him?”

“Of course,” she said as she pulled the baby out of the carrier and handed him to L. Turning away, Naomi left to go make L breakfast. 

Baby Quill looked up at his dad with curious eyes as he blew bubbles with his mouth. Nothing brought L joy and peace like holding his son did.  Kissing the little blue knit hat on his head, L whispered promises to Quill that he intended to keep. Promises to be there for him, to protect him.  L wanted to leave the world a better place for his son. 

When Naomi returned, she handed her husband a bowl of oatmeal and took Quill to go change him. They  then exchanged baby for empty bowl a few minutes later , and L snuggled into the bed with his baby.  Quill's sweet baby scent filled his nose , and L slept soundly the rest of the day.

Naomi felt terribly for her sweet husband, and watched her two favorite guys sleep with a heavy heart .  The sweet sight  of them  was something she would never forget  in all her days. She had never felt so full of love before, and seeing L in this new role changed the way she saw him.  He was a good father, and she couldn't ask for more.

***

L was feeling more himself the next day. With plenty of sleep and the love and support of his little family, he knew he'd get through.  It was time to call the Captain back, despite how much he loathed having to make the call. 

After the boring formalities of introduction and “how are you feeling” with the subsequent lie that he was fine, the Captain got down to business. “The shipment comes in tomorrow. Will you be ready?”

“Yes sir, I wouldn't miss it,” L felt his heart sink because he was honestly in no shape to be doing this raid. It was his project, though, and he needed to see it through. This was a year of hard work all for this moment. It would be a shame to miss out.

“Very good. See you first thing tomorrow.”

“Yessir.”


	13. A Lovers Quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicola screws up with Light

It was at the final meeting before they were to rob the infirmary that Light felt something was off. Looking around the room, he saw the faces of young men and women who were excited about this opportunity. Many of them would finally be getting access to medications they needed for themselves or family members.  Light wasn’t so sure it was going to go as smoothly as they thought. “Nicola, can I have a word?”

Surprised that Light spoke up,  Nic put down his marker and left the hanging map he'd been marking up. They both stepped outside the hushed room and closed the door, knowing every ear was lending itself to try and listen in.

“I know I haven't been a part of Kira long, so please forgive me, but  I don't think we should go through with this plan.”

Nicola raised his brows at Light's bold statement, “Why not? We've been planning this for months.”

“How often do large narcotics shipments come through like this? You don't think security will be tightened or that the police will be expecting us? It feels like a trap,” Light explained.

“They don't come around often, but if we wait even a day, the stock will be reduced by half. That's how fast this stuff goes.”  Nicola was visibly irritated by Light's uncertainty in his leadership. He didn't like to be challenged.

“Half is better than none, Nicola. I have a bad feeling about this,” Light was trying to plead with him but knew he was getting nowhere.

“Well, you can have a bad feeling the entire time you're helping us steal it,” Nicola spat.

Light sighed, “I'm not going.”

Nicola laughed, “Oh, yes you are. Because if you don't start pulling your weight around here, both you and your sister will be out on your asses. That piece of shit Bernard is still out there. Maybe you can bunk back up with him.”

Light hadn't known his rapists name, but it was all he could do not to punch Nicola in his smug face. Eyes watering and balled fists trembling, Light finally muttered, “Fine.  At least I gave you fair warning.” With that, Light turned and walked away stiffly. Had he stayed a moment longer, he probably would've given into the rage and punched Nic. It would've been a fight he lost, and he knew it, but he was so angry he couldn't see straight. Light needed to find something to take his rage out on, and Nicola let him go. 

Sayu found Light pounding his fist into an old metal door. Running up to stop him, he almost reared back and struck her. Horrified, he stopped and stared at her. “What are you doing?” she asked.

Light's fist was bloody and swollen,  probably broken. “It was either this or Nicola’s face, so…”

“A lovers quarrel I see,” she joked.

“No! He's an asshole,  Sayu . I can't believe  I ever thought he was attractive,” Light had tears in his eyes as he shook.

With a frown,  Sayu reached up and hugged her brother. “It'll be ok,” she whispered. “Let’s go get your hand looked at, alright?”

He agreed, knowing Dr. Margie would be disappointed in his self inflicted injury.  As they entered her lab, she sighed immediately at seeing his swollen fist. “Really, Light?”

He simply looked down as she moved about the room. Light took a seat on her metal table, a place he was very familiar with by now.  Sayu stood quietly next to him as Dr. Margie brought over some kind of smelly cream. “It'll help with the swelling.” He hissed as she applied it, and it tingled and burned a bit. It worked, however.  She wrapped his hand and instructed him to rest it and find alternative methods for letting out his anger.

Sayu giggled a bit at that but quieted down when Light glared at her. She escorted him back to the bunk room, where Nicola was sitting on Light's bed waiting for him. She quietly dismissed herself and Nicola stood, “Light, can I have a private word with you?”

Light frowned at him, “ I'm not really in the mood for your bullshit.”

Nobody spoke to Nicola that way and it irritated him to no end. He swallowed and put those feelings aside. “Please ? My apartment is upstairs. I'll only take a moment of your time.”

Light sighed and rolled his eyes, “Fine.”

Nicola led the way up the rusty metal stairs.  He closed the wood door to his tiny apartment behind them, and Light took in his surroundings. There wasn't much more than a bed and a table. A small cabinet appeared to hold food , and clothing was folded neatly in a basket on the floor. Turning to Light, he noticed his wrapped hand but said nothing of it. “I owe you an apology.”

Light scoffed, “An apology can't fix what you said. I don't even think you're capable of realizing how shitty that was.”

“I do realize,” Nicola said, voice dripping with sincerity. He stepped closer to Light, searching his eyes, “I should have never said that.  I would never send you back to…” Nicola looked down, “I lost my little sister to  sex trafficking.  I know the horrors of it. ”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” Light still sounded unconvinced, but he was softening toward Nicola.

“I'm ashamed of my behavior, Light,” Nicola confessed as he looked back up at Light. Their eyes met and  and Nicola wanted to reach out and touch Light but knew better than to do so. “I understand if you can't forgive me.  I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back in your good graces again.”

“Why?”  Light asked, “What am I to you? I get the feeling you never apologize for anything,  much less go this far to win someone over.”

Embarrassed, Nicola smiled crookedly, feeling sheepish. “ You’re  different, Light.” He paused, wondering if he should just confess his feelings right there.  There was no telling how Light would react. 

“I don't trust you,” Light said, eyes narrowed. Truth was Light didn't trust anybody. He didn't know how.

“I know. I'm hoping that changes with time.” Nicola reached toward Light's good hand but Light pulled away.

Somehow, Nicola making that small move toward him panicked Light. He felt trapped in that tiny apartment, like he couldn't breathe or escape.  Light brushed past him and ran out the door, racing down the steps without another word. The only thing Light could think to do was  run outside and get away. His heart pounded, the sound of it flooding his ears.  Light didn't stop until he was well within the forest, the cover of night hiding him from the world.  Leaning against a tree, he tried to catch his breath. Unable to understand his own behavior,  Light’s mind raced.  Just a day ago he was fantasizing about Nicola touching him, but when he actually tried,  Light couldn't handle it. This was more than them having a fight.  An argument didn't warrant sheer panic like that.  It wasn't just that Nicola reached for him either. No, he was uncomfortable in that apartment from the start. The moment the door closed, he was on edge. 

“Light!”  Nicola's voice rang out in the dark and Light straightened out.

“I'm over here,” he called back lazily.

Light heard footsteps before he saw anything as Nicola made his way over. “It’s dangerous to be out here alone.”

“But I'm not alone,” Light wondered if there was enough moonlight for  Nic to see his smirk.

Stopping in front of Light, he sighed. “I'm sorry, Light. I wasn't trying to scare you. I feel terrible.”

“It wasn’t you,” Light said. “I honestly don't know what happened.  It was like I felt trapped.”

“Did you feel like you were back there? With _ him?” _

Light thought a moment, “Yes…”

_ A flashback,  _ Nic knew all about that. “I'll never make you feel cornered like that again, Light. I'm really sorry.”

“Would you stop it already? You really suck at apologizing.”

“I thought I was doing pretty good.”

“ Just, stop. Don't treat me like shit ever again. That'll prove you're truly sorry.”

“Done,”  Nic said.  “Are you ready to head back?”

Light sighed and pushed himself off the tree. “Yeah. ”

They were both silent for a moment, and Nicola thought that he didn't want to lose his chance to tell Light how he felt. They were currently alone in the forest, Light was no longer on edge, and they'd patched things up. Taking a deep breath, he decided to take his chances, “ I'm probably being presumptuous, but… we don’t  have the same rules about relationships here. I know you've been through a lot, and I can tell you’re not ready. But when you are,  I would like to know you better.”

Nic’s confession shouldn't have surprised Light, but it did. When he was silent, Nic visibly deflated. With extreme caution, Light reached his good hand out and took Nicola's hand in his. They both exchanged shy smiles and held hands all the way back to the compound. Light couldn't do more than hold hands and Nicola knew it. He didn't press for more. When they reached the bunk room, he wished Light a goodnight and headed up the stairs to his apartment. He'd just have to dream of Light for now.


	14. Raid Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light was right about everything.

One thing Light and L both had in common is they had a bad feeling about the infirmary job. Hesitation and unease plagued them both, causing them to drag on slowly with their respective duties. Light was on look out, and for some reason the quiet of the night disturbed him even more. Shouldn't there be heightened security? Instead there was only one measly guard. Hardly protocol for protecting what was assumed to be a large haul.

L hated that the extra security that should be there had been called off. It made everything look suspicious in his opinion. But the higher ups wanted less of a chance of collateral damage, so he couldn't fight it. It would be stupid for Kira not to see right through it, however. “Well fuck me,” L whispered under his breath as he peered through his binoculars.

“What is it?” Aizawa asked as he sat next to L outside in the cold damp of the night.

“Kira's here,” he whispered. It genuinely surprised him, but it was good just the same. He signaled with his hand in the air for his men to move in quietly. If they gave away their position, Kira would disappear into the night. The group was known for being slippery.

“I don't like this,” Light was telling Nicola. “This isn't right.”

“Look, we’ll be in and out quickly. Just keep watch.” With that, Nicola pulled his black mask over his face and disappeared into the building, wishing he could've kissed Light before going off. One day…

Light sat outside on a stack of crates and peered out into the darkness. There was absolutely nothing. Not even a late night drunk wandering through the streets. He had to admit he was initially awestruck by how stunning the city was. It was a lot to take in. Kira was clever, getting through the giant wall by way of a rather rickety grate where the river passed through. 

Suddenly Light felt warm, gloved hands cover his face and pull him backward off the stack of crates. “Stay quiet and live,” a man whispered. Light nodded, eyes wide with terror, body rigid. _Fuck_.

He was cuffed and blind folded. All too familiar to him. He shook when he heard shouting and gun fire. _Oh no_! He swore he heard Nicola telling everyone to run before screaming and then silence. Had they gunned everybody down? Silent tears found their way down Light's face as he was forced to his feet, stumbling along as the police captive. He knew this was a terrible idea. Why hadn’t Nicola listened to him?

His blind fold wouldn't be removed until he was chained to a table and made to sit alone in a room for what felt like eternity. He didn't know that L was losing his mind on his Captain at what a shit show their raid turned out to be. It was unwise to send in green, trigger happy officers who were too shaken by Matsuda’s death to use good judgement. “It was supposed to be a catch and release! Not a fucking slaughter!”

“I know. But L, I need you to calm down,” the Captain tried. He was an older man, balding with a bit of a belly from sitting at his desk more than going out in the field. He sighed and placed his head in his hands. Retirement was around the corner and couldn’t come soon enough.

“I'll calm down when you suspend every last one of them!” L screamed, face red as he slammed his first into the Captain's desk. He was pretty sure he broke his hand, but he didn't care. Instead, he turned and left the office. He had a member of Kira to turn.

“For fuck’s sake,” L spat as he opened the door to the interrogation room. Nobody had taken off the young man’s blindfold. L walked over and ripped it off, “Sorry for the wait,” he said without sounding the least bit sorry at all.

Light gave him a defiant look, already not liking this dark-haired guy. He looked crazy with those big bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep and lifeless, cold grey eyes. L sat in front of him and breathed deep, composing himself. “Are you thirsty? Would you like a water?”

“Cut the shit,” Light spat. “Why am I here?”

L smirked. He liked this guy, “Well, I was hoping you’d like to cut a deal with me.”

“And why would I do that?”

“So you don’t die.” L gave the young man a look that said ‘don’t be stupid’ before continuing. “Your actions as a part of Kira are punishable by death.”

“My actions? I was sitting on a stack of crates. How do you even know if I’m a part of that group or not? For all you know I could have just been going for a jog and had stopped to rest.”

“At midnight? In the freezing cold?”

Light stopped talking. This wasn’t a world where you could say you wanted your lawyer. No, in this world if the police thought you were a terrorist, then you were a terrorist. L cleared his throat, “Let’s start over. I’m L Lawliet. What’s your name?”

“Light Yagami,” he sighed.

“Alright Light Yagami, here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to walk out of here a free man and go back to your friends. In order to stay a free man, you’re going to collect information about your little group of friends and report back to me weekly.”

“Oh, just fucking great,” Light mumbled under his breath. He was an informant now. Just what he wanted.

“Do we have a deal?”

“Yeah.” Light scowled but L smiled. He explained the details of their meet up spot; an apartment nobody lived in that the police used for things like this. They’d meet once a week, and if Light had any trouble, he was to call the number L gave him. With that, L uncuffed young Mr. Light Yagami and escorted him out of the builidng.

It sucked making it back on his own. Not to mention he felt like he was being followed the entire time. On top of that he was exhausted, hungry, and terrified his friends were all dead. Especially Nicola. They weren't officially together or anything, but Light couldn't stand the thought that he would never get the chance now. He shook those thoughts from his mind. He didn't know if Nic was alive or not but he had to hold onto hope. 

As he approached the compound, tears filled his eyes to see Sayu outside tending to the animals. “Light!” she stopped what she was doing and ran to him, nearly knocking him over as she hugged him. “I thought you were…” 

“I'm safe now. Who else made it back?”

“Several people were hurt pretty bad, Light. And five people died.”

“Nicola?”

“I'm fine,” Light looked up to see Nicola approaching him, eyes soft and sad yet somehow happy to see Light. “I was so worried about you.”

“I thought you'd been shot,” Light admitted as he let Sayu go and embraced Nicola. He couldn't help the tears that followed or the way he trembled as Nic held him. It was the most contact Light had allowed between them and Nic soaked it up. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on Light’s warmth and how his hair felt between his fingers. The moment was broken when Light pulled away, “I'm so mad at you. You should've listened to me!”

Nicola frowned. He didn't like being wrong, “I know. I'm sorry. Five people are dead and it’s my fault."

Light softened toward Nicola, realizing how tormented he was by the decisions he'd made. Light reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers. “There’s something I need to tell you."

“Can it wait? You look exhausted and I'm sure you’re hungry,” Nic said.

Light nodded. It could wait a little while. Nicola was right, he needed to eat and sleep before he did anything else. “The bunk room is loud right now with injured people. My apartment door is unlocked. Sleep there. I'll make sure nobody bothers you.”

“Thank you,” Light said as he let Nic go and walked inside. Light grabbed an apple on his way in and was finished with it by the time he reached the bed in Nic’s apartment. It wasn't enough to fill him, but it would do. The bed smelled like Nic, and Light pulled the pillows to him, breathing in that wild, attractive scent until he was dreaming of Nicola.


	15. Light the Informant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light have their first private meeting

When Light woke up, Nic was sitting on the end of the bed. He was tired, but he didn't want to disturb Light or scare him by getting too close. Light reached for him, finger tips gracing the skin of his wrist. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Nic turned to him. “Sleep well?”

“Mhmm. Why don't you lay down with me?”

“Are you sure?” Nicola asked as he crawled close.

“I'm sure,” Light was learning to trust again, and had been letting Nic in little by little. After the events of last night and almost losing Nic, he knew he needed to take a chance on the man.

Laying down on his side, Nic hesitantly reached out to touch Light. With a smile Light assured him it was ok, and Nic pulled him into his body. They both needed the comfort of the other desperately. The warmth and comfort Light felt when those arms wrapped around him was unexpected, and he promptly fell back asleep.

They slept together for several uninterrupted hours, rumors of what they might be doing up there circulating through the compound. Sayu giggled, hoping her brother had healed enough to be intimate with someone. It was her wish that he be happy again and love somebody.

Nicola woke first and ran his fingers through Light's soft auburn hair. The feeling woke Light and he smiled sleepily at Nic. “Can I kiss you?” Nicola asked quietly, hoping Light would let him.

“Yes.” Light was glad he asked. It gave him time to process what was happening instead of jerking back out of fear. Nic pressed his lips gently to Light’s, but didn't seek more. No tongue invaded, no teeth scraped the bottom lip. It was just a sweet, simple pressing of lips and then it was done. 

It wasn't Light’s first kiss, but it was the first one that mattered. The first one with someone he cared about who cared about him too. It was one of the few times in his life Light got a chance to consent, to participate in an act that was sweet and loving without being dirty and sexual. 

Tangling his fingers in Nicola’s hair, Light studied his face a moment before pressing his lips against Nicola's in a second kiss. Nicola smiled into it, pressing to go just a bit deeper this time. When the kiss ended, they smiled at each other. Nicola spoke, breaking the spell, “I'm so glad I have you. What was it you were going to tell me earlier?”

Anxiety gripped Light as he remembered. “The police arrested me. They only let me go when I agreed to inform on Kira for them.”

“Oh shit,” Nic said. “Guess you'll be feeding them bad info.”

“I can't do that for long. I can tell them I don't know anything for a while, but eventually I have to give them something,” Light explained. 

Nicola thought about Light's words for a moment, knowing he was right. Even though the police didn't know where their hideout was, they could eventually find it. He couldn't keep Light at the compound forever either. Light needed to be able to go into the city freely and without fear. “We’ll give him all our info on the sex traffickers.”

Light frowned. He didn't like this idea, “That bastard is mine.”

“If we don't give them something, they'll come after you.” Nicola brushed his fingers over Light's beautiful face. “I can't lose you.”

Light closed his eyes and enjoyed the loving touch. “Alright, I'll do it.” He buried his face in Nicola's chest and breathed him in. There was nothing greater than the warmth of that embrace and the loving kindness that came with it. For the first time in his life, Light felt genuinely cared about. 

***

As L sipped his whiskey, he still couldn't shake how absolutely pissed off he was. Five people were dead. Five people who could've helped them bring down Kira. All that work and dedication and L had nothing to show for it. Not only that, but Kira could decide to take revenge. It wouldn't be completely outside of their MO to do so. 

“Fuck!” L slammed his fists on his desk then immediately winced and cradled his injured hand. He'd been icing it as he drank his whiskey and thought about what a fucking disaster the day had been. Maybe it was the whiskey, but somehow he'd forgotten it was already broken when he decided to slam it down.

He thought about that Yagami boy. He was pretty young and quite attractive. Maybe even impressionable. L had liked his attitude, how defiant he was. It made him laugh. At least he got one informant out of the deal. If the kid delivered. He'd find out soon enough when they met. 

***

A week went by quickly for both Light and L. At his wife's request, L had his hand looked at and he now sported an elbow length cast. Apparently he'd done quite a bit of damage. He paced the dark apartment and kept checking his watch, irritated. Of course he wouldn't show. _Fuck_. 

Light knew he was running late and literally ran as fast as he could across the bridge into the city. Nicola had held him up with a little goodbye kiss that turned into a goodbye blow job. He knew he'd be late but it wasn't like he could pull away in the middle of having his shaft stroked and sucked like _that_, could he? 

It had been getting steadily easier to be intimate with Nicola over the past week. The blow job was a huge break through. Before that, Light felt uncomfortable without his clothes on. He'd let Nicola initiate more kissing, and tolerated his roaming hands. He only grabbed his wrists and stopped him twice. It was a work in progress, but he was getting there.

L startled when the door swung open to reveal a panting, sweating Light. “Sorry I'm late. I uh, got tied up.”

With the hint of a smile on the edge of his lips, L stepped forward. “Don’t be late again.”

Silent, Light shut the door behind him. He just wanted to get this over with. He didn't like this L Lawliet character, with his creepy disposition and soul piercing stare. Walking past L, he plopped down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. Hands placed idly behind his head, Light reclined, “Well?”

L walked over and couldn't help but notice how sexy Light was. He was well built and lean yet muscular. His face was even more perfectly stunning than he remembered. Could he take advantage of him? Use his authority to get his way? L shook those thoughts from his head. There's no way he could do that. L was many things, but he wasn't a piece of shit.   
Taking his seat in the chair across from Light, L cleared his throat, “Yes, I suppose we should get started. I have some questions for you. The raid resulted in several deaths of Kira members. Does the group intend to get retribution?”

“No,” Light said, much to L's relief. “That would be counter productive to our cause and would unnecessarily risk more lives.”

L nodded in understanding, keeping his cool. “And what is your cause?” 

“To bring justice to an unjust world, of course. We're growing in number every day. We believe in freedom. We believe everyone should have access to the medications and treatments they need. We believe you don't have to die just because you're gay.”

L hitched at that last part, shifting in his seat to try and maintain his calm façade. “Are you gay, Light Yagami?”

“Are you going to turn me in if I am?”

“No.”

“Good. I'm not gay though.”

L nodded, disappointed. “What else do you have for me today?”

“The name and location of a known sex trafficker. His name is Bernard. He's part of a larger ring but we don't have the resources to track them all down,” Light pulled a piece of paper from his coat pocket and handed it to L. 

He received it with a nod, “Thank you for this.” Folding it, L placed it in his front shirt pocket, “What is Kira planning next?”

“Nothing. We're still licking our wounds from your massacre.”

L visibly cringed, “It wasn’t supposed to go that way. Tell your leader I'm sorry.”

Light smirked, “He won't listen.”

L nodded. He had a good idea who was calling the shots, and if it wasn't Light, it would be soon. The kid was sharp. He gave L just enough information to be useful, but not to catch them. It satisfied their deal without giving up his friends. L wondered how long Light could keep that up. “If you ever want to leave Kira, I can help you.”

“Thanks,” Light said flatly. The last thing he wanted was help from this living ghost. “If that's everything, I'll be going.”

“See you next week, Light.”

“Uh huh.”


	16. Extent of the Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nic makes a mistake with Light. L enjoys time with his baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably be slow to update. Things are crazy and I've been tired lately. Hang in there with me, though!

Nicola seemed agitated upon Light’s return. “How did it go?” He asked anxiously, gaze like fire as it lingered over Light's body while he put together their dinner plates.

“Productive. He's no closer to catching us but I gave him something to do by sending him after the sex trafficker.” Light removed his coat and hung it on Nicola's makeshift rack in the apartment as he spoke.

“Good. What else?” Nicola stepped close to Light, tracing his fingers down his arms.

“That's it, really. We didn't talk about much else. Oh, he says he's sorry about how the raid went.”

Nic scoffed, “Do you believe him?”

Light shrugged, “Kind of. It didn't benefit him to kill us.”

Nic narrowed his eyes, “Do you like him?”

“What? No. No!” Light pulled away from Nicola's grasp. “What's gotten into you?”

“Nothing. I was only joking,” Nic tried to cover up his jealousy. Light probably saw through it but he didn't care. Changing the subject, “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, actually,” Light said, receiving the plate of lamb and potatoes offered by Nicola. Light had never had lamb before, and was excited to try it. 

They sat on Nicola's bed and ate in silence, Nic still seeming tense to Light. He decided to smile at him and try to break up the tension. “Uh, this probably goes without saying, but this morning was amazing.”

“Oh yeah?” that definitely got Nic's attention. “We can see what else you're up for after dinner.”

“I'd like that.” Light giggled as Nic wolfed down his food with renewed vigor. Setting their plates on the floor, Nic crawled over to Light, eyes begging for a kiss. Light obliged, hands cupping his face.

Nicola moved his hands to the buttons of Light’s shirt. The kiss ended, “Is this ok?”

“Yeah.”

Nicola moved his hands from the shirt to the pants button, “And this?”

Light was shrugging out of his shirt, “Yes.”

“Lay back and lift your hips,” Nicola instructed. Light did and Nic stripped Light of his pants and underwear. “Close your eyes if you feel you can. I want to make you feel good.”

Nicola tongued each of Light's nipples and Light hissed in pleasure, eyes closed in trust. Nic had secured some lube from one of their earlier successful raids and was glad to use it on more than a solo session. He spread it across his fingers before going down on Light, engulfing his cock. Light moaned as Nic sucked and bobbed his head. With his lubed finger, he pressed inside Light's entrance, and it felt strange to him. He'd been limited in experience, but he knew it wasn't supposed to feel like hardened wrinkles and ridges throughout. The feeling only lasted a second, however, because Light shot back to the head of the bed, scrambling for covers, a look of terror on his face. “What the fuck are you doing!?”

Nicola was shocked, unsure what went wrong. “What do you mean?”

“I can't have sex like that, Nic! I'm scarred all to shit! I'll never be able to do it!”

Nicola realised in that moment that he had grossly underestimated the extent of Light’s trauma. _That was scarring I felt. Oh God_. “Fuck, Light. I'm sorry.”

Light looked away, “Just give me my clothes please.”  
Nicola handed them over and turned away so Light could dress. Without another word, Light got off the bed and walked out. He couldn't look at Nicola if he tried. Nic couldn't understand the overwhelming shame he felt. Sex had been ruined for him. “It'll be ok. It'll be ok,” he kept repeating it to himself in hopes of believing it. It didn't work. Light found his bed and threw himself upon it, facing the wall. He tried to keep the noise down as he cried. Feeling stupid, he punched the wall. All that did was scrape up his knuckles. Sleep would find him eventually, with the hope of a better day come morning.

***

L enjoyed his days off playing with his son and spending time with his wife. He'd taken to fantasizing about Light when they fucked and things had gotten exponentially better. Given the chance, L wouldn't hesitate to cheat on Naomi, and as he looked at her he thought he should feel guilty but he didn't. Perhaps the guilt would come if he were to actually follow through with the act. 

“Oh, you stink little man,” L said as he lifted his baby and gave his butt a sniff. “Time for a change.”

Quill giggled as L placed him on the changing table and got to work. He had made quite the messy diaper, and L wondered if mommy knew this would happen and stuck him with this diabolical mess on purpose. He sighed and did the best he could to get the mess cleaned up and the baby changed.

After that, L opened the fridge to find a prefilled bottle waiting for them. He warmed it up and walked around the apartment as Quill ate. “I know you, little guy. Soon as you're done you're gonna belch, possibly puke all over me, and then fall asleep.”

As if on command, that's exactly what baby Quill did. L grimaced, knowing he'd need a change of clothes. “I can't wait until you stop doing this,” L said as he stripped himself naked before walking Quill upstairs to his crib. “Sleep well, little man.” And with little more than a rub on his back, baby Quill was asleep.

L found Naomi napping in their bedroom and decided to join her. She looked comfortable and he didn't want her being the only one having a good time. Days like this were everything he needed and more to recuperate from his demanding job. Tomorrow he'd be going back in. Tomorrow they'd be investigating that sex trafficker Light told him about. Tomorrow was a big day, so L slept while he could. 


	17. Apologies and Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nic apologizes well while L screws up.

The week sped by and Nicola did far more than just make it up to Light for his stupid mistake. After a long conversation and full body massage with warm oil, Nic surprised Light with chocolate; something hard to come by and quite coveted. “You didn't have to go to all this trouble,” Light said, feeling boneless where he lay on the bed.

“Yes, I did,” Nicola whispered as he planted a kiss to those pouty, perfect lips.

“This is amazing and I don't want to move, but I'm meeting L today,” Light complained.

Nic huffed, “I wouldn't object to you staying.” 

“I'm sure you wouldn't.” Light sat up and pulled his jeans on. With quick kiss goodbye, he pulled his shirt on overhead as he walked out the door. 

He'd left early enough to not have to run this time. Instead, he could enjoy the journey a little bit more and take his time. He also remembered to pack food and a little spending money. Sayu’s birthday was coming up and he wanted to get her something. Maybe L knew of some good shops in the area.

Just as before, L was waiting for Light. “So you can be on time,” he smirked as Light walked inside the apartment.

Light said nothing once again. He didn't want to let on that it took him a long time to get there. “How was your week?” Light asked, making small talk.

This was certainly a change in pace from the first meeting. L took his seat across from Light, “Good. My son is a month old today.”

“I didn't know you were a father.”

“Surprised?”

“Honestly, yes,” Light said. Somehow L hadn't struck him as the fatherly type. Yet the man lit up in a way Light hadn't seen before at the mention of his son. “Tell me about him.”

“He's got dark hair like me but thankfully the rest of him looks like his mother,” L said with a smile. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a picture, handing it to Light.

“Oh wow. Your wife is a knock out.”

Taking the picture back, L laughed a bit, “Yes, well, I'm lucky to have her.”

“I haven't been matched yet but it'll be my luck to end up with a cow,” Light sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I've heard there are some changes coming down the pike for the mandate. You'll have the option to refuse your first match. But you'll be stuck with the second.”

“At least there's an option,” Light said. That small change would really be quite an improvement. Apparently it was the government's attempt to reduce spousal abuse. It wouldn't work, but they deserved a gold star for trying.

“So, what do you have for me today?” L asked as he reclined in his seat.

“Nothing, honestly. Kira still has no new plans, though I'm sure that’ll change soon. They are getting pretty low in medical supplies.”

“I see. What kind of supplies so they need?”

“Pain meds, antibiotics, thyroid meds, insulin.”

“Oh wow you've got a diabetic on your team. Interesting.”

“Yeah,” Light wasn’t about to tell him it was his boyfriend- leader. 

L wondered if he could use that information to his advantage. Unsure, he filed it away for later. Every bit helped him build a profile for the members of Kira. Eventually he'd know them all. “I may be able to help you out with that. After all, you helped us land a sex trafficker that appears to be heading toward a bust of several people. I may be getting promoted over it.”

Light slung his arms over the back of the couch, “Well, congratulations, I guess.” He smiled lazily but inside he was ecstatic that L might be able to get them the medical supplies they so desperately needed. 

“Thank you,” L smiled, standing and walking into the kitchen area. Light watched him with interest. L grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “I thought it wasn't too early to celebrate, eh?”

Light had never had alcohol before. He gulped but tried to maintain his cool façade. “Not at all.”

Bringing the glasses and handle of whiskey over, L knelt on the floor as he set the cups on the coffee table and poured them each about a shot worth. Handing one over to Light, he held his own up in a show of a toast, “To what is hopefully a blossoming partnership.”

Light just smiled, clinked glasses with the strange man, and downed his shot. It burned on the way down in a way he wasn't expecting, and he choked. Leaning forward, he covered his mouth and coughed, eyes watering.

L simply laughed as he poured them each another, “Ah, I remember my first drink.”

“Oh shut up,” Light laughed. Standing, he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It always amazed him when places had clear, running water. He certainly didn't grow up with such luxury.

Sitting back down, Light lifted his glass, “To bringing down sex traffickers.”

“Ah, yes,” L said.

This time, Light chased the shot with his water, cutting the harshness of the drink considerably. With very little in his stomach and never having drank before, it wasn't long before Light was feeling light headed. What he didn't know was this particular whiskey was very high proof. “So, when do you execute the dirt bag?”

“Oh, we probably won't.”

“Excuse me?”

“He is going to cut a deal and turn on his friends and probably go free. It won't be long before he's brought up on new charges, I'm sure.”

That wasn't good enough for Light. “That bastard deserves to rot in hell.”

It seemed like Light was reacting awfully strong in L's opinion. “Light, is this personal for you?”

Light looked away and stood. “I should go,” he felt a bit dizzy and upset and wasn’t about to share his life story with L. Light bolted to the door and was out it by the time L stood up from the floor.

“Fuck,” L mumbled under his breath. There was always next week, he supposed.


	18. The First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L finally admit to having feelings for each other. Well, L admits it, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly SO EXCITED for this chapter. I hope you like it as much as I did!

Nicola didn't like that Light returned with the smell of alcohol on his breath. In his anger, he threw an empty flower pot and shattered it against his apartment wall. He accused Light of 'fraternizing with the enemy’ and being a traitor. His spit splattered in Light's face as he came so close that Light was basically pinned against the wall in terror. A vein bulged from Nic's forehead, his face red with rage.

In a moment of self preservation, Light shoved Nicola off him and took off running out of the apartment. He raced through the bunk room downstairs and outside into the fresh air, where he caught his breath. He was trembling all over. This wasn't right. Nicola was insane. Light didn't know what to do other than keep his distance for now. Nic could decide to kick him and Sayu out at any time, and they had nowhere to go. He still didn't trust L even though he'd offered sanctuary if he ever needed it.

After that explosive fight, Light didn't come near Nicola for days. Nic gave him his space as well, figuring he'd need it. Eventually, however, Nic couldn't take the distance anymore and approached Light during breakfast one morning. “Can we talk?”

Light looked up at him, “Sure,” he said cautiously. He'd just finished eating anyway.

They walked outside into the woods toward a short trail that overlooked the mountains at the end of it. They didn't get far before Nic began speaking, “I just want to apologize for my abhorrent behavior, Light. I don't know what came over me, but it'll never happen again. Do you forgive me?”

Light was looking down at the ground, listening to Nicola talk. He wanted to tell him to fuck off. He wanted to tell Nic he deserved better. Instead, he smiled at him, “Yes, of course I do.”

When Nicola took his hand and kissed him sweetly, something died inside Light. He was trapped in this relationship, he realized. For the safety of him and Sayu, he had to stay with Nicola, a man he knew he'd never love. Forcing a smile, he returned the kiss and squeezed Nicola’s hand. They walked back to the compound together, Light knowing he needed to find a way out.

It was incredibly difficult pretending with Nic, and Light couldn't deny the relief he felt in knowing that he'd have almost an entire day away from him when he met up with L. Normally Light didn't think of the odd detective much, but he was sorry for the way he left things at the last meeting and hoped he'd be able to make it right. Apologize, maybe explain himself a bit. It was difficult to talk about, but somehow L was good at putting him at ease. 

Leaving a little earlier than normal to avoid Nic, Light grabbed a backpack and stuffed it with snacks and water for his journey. Taking off at a jog, he did little more than wave to Sayu on his way out. He'd walk once he felt he was far enough away that Nicola couldn't find him. His path mainly led him by the river, a view he didn't mind at all. It was peaceful and he had the chance to clear his mind as he went.

When he finally arrived at the apartment, L was waiting for him as usual, but there were two black police issued duffel bags in the middle of the living room floor. “What’s this?” Light asked casually as he walked in.

Behind him, L was biting his thumb nail. “Pain meds, insulin, antibiotics, first aid supplies, some other stuff.”

Light stopped and turned to him, heartbeat accelerating. Trying to keep his voice cool and calm, he cleared his throat as he offered a coy smile. “For me? You shouldn't have.”

L smirked a bit and pulled his thumb from his mouth. “Whatever keeps you from breaking the law.”

Light's face turned a little more serious, “Would it offend you if I checked them for bugs?”

“You would be foolish not to. They're not bugged, however.”

Light got on the floor and began unzipping pockets and checking every medicine bottle and package. “I owe you an apology,” he said without looking up at L.

“For what?”

“Last week, when I stormed out. I'm sorry.”

“Look, I was prying. It was none of my business. I shouldn't have said anything,” L walked over to Light and hovered over him as he worked. 

When Light looked up, he realized L was offering him a drink. “Oh, thanks,” he said as he accepted it. “You know, I got in trouble for smelling like booze last week.”

L chuckled, “Girlfriend give you what for?”

“…boyfriend,” Light cast a sideways glance at L to see his reaction. The man hid it well, but Light sensed a spark of interest in learning that little tidbit. “And he wasn't very nice about it.” Light sipped as he moved on to the second duffel. “I saw a new side of him.”

“I'm sorry, Light. That's not ok. Break up with him if he doesn't treat you right,” L suggested._ I would treat you right._

Light glanced at him from over his shoulder again. “It's not that simple. I can't.” Satisfied that the bags weren't bugged, he stood and faced L, finding himself closer than he intended to be to the man. “You offered me sanctuary once.”

“It still stands,” _he really is something, isn't he?_

“I may have to take you up on it,” _but can I trust you?_

“Just let me know. I don't want to see you get hurt.” _Let me help you._

“Very sweet of you,” Light teased, walking away before he blushed and did something stupid. Plopping down on the couch, he stretched his tired let's out onto the coffee table and crossed them. “So, I actually have useful information for you today. Though now that I have medical supplies it may not happen.”

“Tell me anyway,” L encouraged, taking his usual seat in the chair across from Light.

“They’re planning a raid on the Southside. Details are still in the air but I think it'll happen in the next month.”

“Ok, thank you,” L said as he refilled his glass, “Another?”

“Why not?” _Maybe I'll drink enough to get up the balls to tell Nico to fuck himself._ Just like last time, the alcohol hit Light pretty fast and hard. Losing a bit of his usual decorum, he allowed his curiosity to get the better of him as he watched L cross the kitchen to get water. “Why do you have a limp?”

L just stared at him a moment before walking back over to the chair and sitting. “Fuck, I'm sorry. That was rude.”

“No, it's fine. I was jumped by a kid almost a year ago now, I suppose. I believe he was the leader of Kira. I never saw his face, but he stabbed me several times in the thigh. Shredded the muscle.”

_Nicola did that_? At this point Light believed it. “Oh, damn. I'm sorry.”

“It's alright. Left a nasty scar. I’d show you but I would have to take off my pants.”

“I don't mind,” _what the fuck are you saying?_ “I'll show you mine if you show me yours.” Despite his internal screaming, he snickered a bit, hand lazily over his mouth. “Sorry, I think the whiskey got to me.”

“You have scars?” L tried to ignore the come on, but it was hard.

“Oh yeah. That bastard Bernard gave them to me,” Light set his glass on the coffee table and removed his shirt. Standing, he turned his back to L.

“Holy shit,” L breathed, eyes wide. He hadn't seen lash marks that bad before. The kid’s back was mutilated. L stood and walked over for a closer look. “Light…” L couldn't imagine what he must've gone through. Without thinking, he raised a hand and brushed it over one of the raised scars. Light flinched. “I'm sorry.”

“No, it's ok. Your hands are just cold.”

L bit his lip as he lifted long fingers back up and ran the tips across a long ridge. “I'm so sorry this happened to you.”

Light could smell the whiskey on L's breath. Somehow it was sweet, tempting in its own way. He felt a flash of heat rise in him. Was he attracted to this man? Why did he want L to touch him? He hated his scars to be touched or looked at. But this…he didn't know why this was different, only that it was.

When the hands left his back, Light turned to face L. They were so close that Light felt like he was breathing the other man in. He'd never noticed his smell before. Beyond the whiskey was something sweet and attractive. “I showed you mine,” Light joked to cut the tension.

“A deal is a deal I guess,” L said as he quickly undid his belt and pants zipper. 

Light stood agasp as the pants crumpled around his ankles. The briefs hardly contained L's sizable package, which Light blushed to find he rather enjoyed staring at. “Damn,” Light said as he dropped to his knees. The damage was extensive. L wasn’t kidding when he said it was shredded. Light stroked downward on the thigh, and he swore he heard L shudder above him. 

“I've gotten better but I'll always limp,” L explained as he tried to catch his breath. _Take me now. Damn._

Light's eyes wandered to what appeared to be a hardening cock. Maybe it was a mixture of learned behavior and self preservation. Sexual favors had always gotten Light what he wanted, kept him and his sister safe. To him, this would be no different. Now that he knew L was attracted to him, he could capitalize on it. 

Slender fingers teased the waist band of L's briefs, Light’s open mouth ready to take the flesh inside. “No,” L said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. Light could feel him tremble slightly, knew this was hard for him.

“No?” Light looked up but L had closed his eyes.

“Stand up,” L said, tugging Light to his feet. When they were eye to eye again L let out a breath, “You're very attractive, and I'm quite tempted, but…”

_But what?_ Light was confused. He'd never been turned down before, not since he was ten years old had a man refused his hand or his mouth or some other part of his body. Wasn’t this how he secured L's loyalty?

“There’s just no way in hell I'm going to let someone suck my dick whom I haven't even kissed yet,” he smiled slightly, blushing. 

“What's kissing got to do with anything?” 

L frowned. What kind of life had Light lived to see the world this way? “It's everything, Light,” he said. “It's the first step to intimacy. It speaks for romance and love when words aren't enough. It connects people.”

“You sound insane,” Light said, “In case you haven't noticed, we don't really live in a world where we can afford the luxury of love. Especially men like us.”

“I think it's rather a necessity, myself,” L tried, crooked smile melting Light by the second.

Light wanted to believe him. He wanted to agree, wanted the freedom to love and not have to live his life this way. That wasn't reality, was it? What part of this was the whiskey talking and what part of this was real? 

L stepped closer to Light, his space perfectly invaded now. Their warm breath tickled each other's faces, details blurry for proximity. L closed the gap between them. The time for talking was over. Either they were going to kiss or they weren't. Either they’d be lovers or they wouldn't. 

Upon the feel of soft lips on his, Light reached out and grabbed L by the shirt, pulling him in even more. Now chest to chest and mouth to mouth they pressed deeper, a connection they had never known with another sparking life inside them both. 

Desperate hands grabbed at each other as they kissed. This was nothing like either of them had ever experienced before. Breathless, they parted, staring in awe at one another. Not knowing what else to do, Light dropped his hands by his sides as he caught his breath. L giggled as he bent down to pull up his pants. “I have to confess I've wanted you from the moment we first met.” That didn't surprise Light, but the second part did. “I want to know you, Light. I don't just want your body. You're smart and intuitive. A survivor. I find you intriguing.”

Light didn't understand these things. He didn't understand turning down sex in favor of a kiss. He didn't understand wanting to know somebody simply for the sake of knowing them. But he found he was willing to learn.


	19. Hate in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light has to convince Nicola he's on his side. There's no better way to do that than with sex...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating! I've been sick. If I don't get another update in soon here's an early Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Bringing home the medical supplies had landed Light in everybody’s good graces.  Nicola claimed he was proud of Light, but it was thinly veiled jealousy.  Light wondered if he'd pay for his good deed in private.  Dr. Margie's smile made it all worth while. “There are drugs in here I've been trying to get my hands on for years, Light. Thank you.”

He scratched the back of his head, “Oh, it was nothing.”  _ Just a mini make out session that would get me killed if  _ _ Nic _ _ knew. _

Word spread throughout the compound, and Light was the popular subject. It became a wild rumor that he would be promoted, and at the next meeting, it was brought up as fact. A very defiant looking freckle faced redhead stood up and said, “Light warned us appropriately about the last raid, that we shouldn't do it. When we didn't listen to him we got our asses handed to us.  Then he gets suckered into an impossible position with the police. Not only does he navigate it perfectly so we don't get caught, but he brings us much needed medical supplies! We request by way of popular vote that Light be made second in command below Nicola. All in favor, say aye.”

The room was full of raised hands and clear voices. There wasn't a single person who didn't want Light in a position of power. Everyone save Nicola. Though it wasn't intended to be, it was an insult to Nicola's leadership to praise Light where  Nic had failed.  He nodded and accepted the vote, but he seethed inside.  He wouldn't stand aside and let Light make a mockery of him.

After the meeting, the bold little redhead caught up to Light on his way outside, “Hey man, can I have a word with you in private?”

Nicola nodded, allowing the two to escape to the edge of the forest. He didn't like it, but he allowed it.  “I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.”

“Matt,” he said with a smile, “ I'm sure Nicola will ask you, so just tell him I'm sweet on your sister and was asking about her.”

Light cocked a brow, “ _ Are _ you sweet on my sister?”

Matt blushed, “She's cute, but you seem like the type who would kill a dude and she's still young, so I'll leave it alone.”

“Smart man,” Light grinned a little. “But what's this really about?”

“Man, I hate to be a rat, but several of us felt you should know that Nicola has been hosting secret meetings behind your back. While you're off informing to the police, he's making plans and feeding you false information,” Matt explained in a very hushed tone.

The shock could've knocked Light over. He blinked and swallowed, trying to get his head straight. “What’s he planning?”

“You know that raid on the Southside we’re doing?”

“Yeah.”

“Well it  ain't no raid. It's an ambush. He's planning on planting a bomb and when the police go inside, it all goes  kaboom .”

Light began to feel sick inside.  _ I have to tell L.  _ “When is this happening?”

“ Couple weeks, I think. He's having trouble securing everything he needs for a bomb that size,” Matt explained.  Noticing how disturbed Light seemed, Matt offered sympathy, “Look man,  I know he's your boyfriend, so no disrespect, but several of us are about fed up with ole Nico running the show. It's about time for an overthrow and a lot of us think you're our guy.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, man.  We didn't vote you to second in command for no reason. The goal is to bump you to first.”

This was Light’s opportunity to get out from under Nicola. There was no way he was going to pass it up. “Ok, I'm in. What's next?”

“ Nicola needs to screw up again. If you can find a way to botch his bombing, he’ll get arrested and you'll be taking his place.”

Light nodded, “ Leave it to me. Just keep me informed. If he decides to change anything, I need to know.”

“Got it,” Matt said with a nod before turning to leave. As Light made his way back to the bunk room, he couldn't help but feel his heart pounding in his ears. Nicola had betrayed him. Lied to him. Was using him. _What a psycho. _It had occurred to Light recently that Nicola was dangerous, and this just confirmed it. How could he claim to care about Light and then turn around and behave this way?

_ Are you really much different?  _ Light asked himself as he made his way to Nicola's apartment.  _ You're using him too. Lying to him too. Maybe this is just how things are. _ Once inside, to avoid questions he wasn't ready to answer, Light dove toward  Nic and kissed him fiercely. Pulling away,  both hands fisting  Nic’s shirt, Light said, “I want you.”

“I want you too,”  Nicola all but purred as he caressed Light’s pretty face.

“No. I mean I  _ want you,”  _ Light restated, a needy look  i n his eyes. When did he become so well versed in the art of deceit?  He'd be  disgusted with himself later. Right now he needed to seduce Nicola, win his trust, make him think Light was desperate for him,  worshiped him. “I want…to be  _ inside _ you,” Light breathed on his mouth before engulfing his tongue.

Nicola moaned into the kiss and began rapidly divesting himself of clothing as they kissed. The way Light sucked his tongue caused Nicola to feel ablaze with passion. Whatever jealousy he'd experienced before, whatever punishment he'd had in store for Light, it went by the wayside. He was desperate for this, had been waiting patiently for this for what felt like eternity. Finally, _finally _it would all pay off.

Light pushed  Nic onto the bed and began to strip . Nicola's hard cock  wept drips of  precome as it stood tall and straining, begging to be touched. Crawling between  Nic's parted legs, Light reached for the lube on his way down. Kissing  Nic’s inner thigh, he gave it a playful bite and smiled when  Nic hissed at him.  His mouth engulfed that needy cock as Light probed him with a lubed finger. “Mmm, yes. More, I need more!” Nicola cried, fisting the sheets beneath him as he threw his head back and arched his back. If Light kept going like this, he was going to come very quickly.

When Light added a second finger and twisted to open Nicola more, he found and massaged the prostate, reducing  Nic to an unintelligible mess upon the bed.  Light found it was enough to keep him aroused, enough to keep up the lie.  Imagining that this was L f alli ng apart beneath him didn't hurt either. Light just hoped he didn't call the wrong name in a moment of passion.

Nicola couldn't stand the abuse on his prostate for long and found himself exploding into Light's mouth. “Ah!” he cried as he arched off the bed, eyes squeezed shut as he rutted.  Light swallowed him to the base, making sure his come shot straight down his throat so he didn't have to taste it or think. 

As Nicola lie there panting and dizzy, Light lined himself up with  Nic’s entrance and slowly eased his slick cock inside.  It was unlike anything Light had ever felt before, and as he started a shallow rhythm, he closed his eyes and pretended the body beneath him belonged to L. “Oh, it’s so good,” he panted, moving deeper and faster until he was smacking hard against  Nic’s ass.  His balls ached from smashing into  Nic , but Light was determined to finish inside him, and to do so as quickly as possible.

Feeling the impending orgasm encroach upon him, Light gave himself over to that ecstasy as his hips stuttered and stammered. Finally, he loosed himself inside Nicola, filling him with his warm, sticky come. Light pulled out and got off the bed to find something to clean up with. There was a kitchen rag close by that would have to do. After wiping himself off, he tossed it to Nic. “Come here,” Nic said as he laid there in the after glow, reaching out to Light.

With a deep breath, Light climbed back into the bed. Of course  Nic wanted to cuddle afterward.  Light pretended to enjoy his kisses and warm embrace, but really it was hard to not fantasize smothering the guy with a pillow. His time would come soon enough, Light thought. He looked forward to the day he took Nicola down.


	20. Revenge So Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light finally gets revenge on Bernard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late updates on everything. Life is crazy right now and I'm going through some personal things. Hopefully I get good news regarding it early next week and can put it behind me.

Sayu had grown into quite the beautiful young woman since coming to the compound. Putting her past behind her, she clutched onto the blue  dragonfly necklace Light had gotten her for her birthday. It was hand blown glass and tiny, but stunning and detailed. Light told her that blue dragonflies were a sign that the ones we loved who’d passed on were still with us. She’d cried as he put it on her, the hemp twine holding it to her neck the best they could find. It was cherished, the best birthday present she'd ever gotten.

They called the purple haired woman Maverick, which was fitting. Turned out she created her own dyes from plants and was  the compounds go to girl for hair cuts. She layered  Sayu’s long brown hair and gave her bangs.  The cut made her look thrown up and youthful all at once.  “Happy birthday, sweetie,” she smiled, hand on her wide hip as she admitted  Sayu’s cut.

Looking into a mirror, she toyed with her dragonfly, “I love it! Thank you so much!” Jumping up from the chair, she made her way to her brother to show off her fabulous hair. He was on patrol duty at the boundary today, and while she really wasn’t supposed to meander the paths in the woods carelessly, there wasn't a strict rules against it. Besides, she's brought the men and women on patrol lunch plenty of times. As long as she wore bright clothing and made her presence known, she was safe.

It was cold outside, the impending winter warning of snowfall and ice. She pulled the hood of her wool coat over her head and huddled against herself as a strong wind whipped by. The rustling of leaves continued long after the wind was gone, so  Sayu announced her presence, “It's me,  Sayu ! I'm going to see my brother so please don't shoot!”

When there wasn't a response Sayu shrugged, figuring they couldn't hear her. Stepping closer, she took a deep breath to announce herself again. When she felt the strong grip of hands go around her mouth and waist, she tried to scream but found she’d been successfully muffled. A cloth was held against her mouth and nose. Something almost sweet tasting hit her mouth and tongue before she collapsed.

***

Light had bent down to tie his boot, trying not to allow his thoughts about last night wander too far. The things he did with Nicola disgusted him. It wasn't until he met L that he discovered sex could be something special. It didn't have to be a manipulation or survival strategy. L had taught him that with a single kiss. He couldn't imagine what else L could show him. It was fitting, he supposed, that his virginity would be lost to the likes of Nicola. Not that it was anything special to him. He didn't live in a world that valued virginity anyway.

As Light stood, his thoughts were pulled toward a rather frantic Matt running through the woods, “Light! Your sister! She's been taken!”

“What?”  Light felt the shock hit him as he froze before a panting, breathless Matt.

“I saw her on the trails and went to catch up, because it's not safe to go alone, when,” he breathed deep and wiped his forehead, “ Bernard. He found our hideout, Light. He took her, Light.”

Light felt sick. Dizziness hit him as he tried not to vomit. “We have to go after them!” Light growled out as he came to his senses. If anything happened to his sister…he wasn't sure what he was capable of.

They took off running through the woods, Light abandoning his post without another  thought. Arriving back at the compound, Matt went to grab horses for them while Light searched for Nicola. He found him  speaking with Margie be the gardens.  Nicola and Margie turned to Light. “What’s wrong?” Nicola asked.

“Bernard. He found the compound and took my sister! We have to go after him!” Light grabbed Nico's shirt, tears in his eyes as he frantically begged for help.

“I can't go, but you can take whoever is not helping with tomorrow's raid.”

“Cancel the raid! This is my _ sister _ we’re talking about!” Light couldn't believe Nicola wouldn't do everything to find her.

“I can't just cancel it! Take whoever you can find who can ride a fast horse. There are at least forty people who can help you,” Nico reasoned.

_ But none of them are my boyfriend who supposedly love me.  _ “Fine,” Light shoved Nico away, “I don't have time for this.” Light took off running and noticed that Matt had grabbed weapons and Maverick to join them. It would have to be the three of them then. That was just fine. Bernard was going down.

They galloped hard down the forest path toward Bernard’s hideout. This was his last day alive if Light had anything to do with it. Despite the great distance they travelled in such a short amount of time, it felt like Light couldn't go fast enough. He was consumed by rage and images of his sister being abused.

Approximately a quarter mile from Bernard's  retched hideout, they dismounted and tied their horses to some trees.  The horses should stand quietly for a while.  As they walked, Light didn't recognize anything , so Matt and Maverick led the way. The building came into view as they passed through the thick brush,  its crumbling walls and busted windows becoming all too familiar.

They could hear something and paused, readying their rifles. “I want him alive in case he's hidden her.”  Matt and Maverick nodded.

Bernard in all his fat, disgusting glory wobbled out of his outhouse and toward his building. With his back to the three of them, they snuck up as he worked his lock, the cold metal of Light’s gun barrel against his skull. “Hello again,” Light said, calm and cool.

Bernard froze, catching glimpses of the other two people on either side of him. “What do you want?”

“You took something that doesn't belong to you and I want her back,” Light spat. “Unlock the door!”

Bernard shakily obeyed, and led them into that room of horrors Light had tried so desperately to avoid. Inside, at least a dozen girls were chained to the floor. The smell was horrific, with waste all over the place, the girls forced to sit in their own filth. Without looking away from Bernard, Light said, “Matt, Maverick, get these girls out of here!” 

“Light!”  Sayu shouted from along the girls, tears in her eyes.

Light looked at her, “It's going to be alright,  Sayu .”

He shoved Bernard forward, toward that table that had haunted Light in his nightmares.  Grabbing the fat man by his neck, Light strapped him down, tightening the buckles until it cut off his circulation. Glancing up at his two friends, he said, “I'll catch up to you. Use my horse to carry anyone who can't walk.”

They nodded, but said little else as they  ushered the girls outside into the frigid cold. Most were underdressed, and Maverick searched the building for clothing, finding  little more than blankets and sheets in what she supposed was Bernard's bedroom.  Several of the girls huddled together in the sheets and blankets, Maverick and Matt giving their coats to the remaining girls.

Once the door was shut and Light was alone with Bernard, he circled stilling and crouched in front of his face. Wicked grin on his face,  Light growled, “I've been _ dreaming _ of this day.”

“Please let me go. I'll give you anything!”  Bernard's voice quivered with fear.

Light stood and spotted the cat of nine tails. “Anything?” Light asked as he picked it up and walked behind his captive. “Can you give me back my dignity?”  He raised the whip and lashed at Bernard with all his might, the man beneath him screaming as he pulled against his restraints.  “Can you give me back a life without nightmares?” he struck him again. And again. Light keeps striking the man until he was nothing but a bleeding blob of flesh on the table, blood spattered across Light's clothes and face.

Now that Bernard was incapacitated, Light threw the whip to the ground and searched the cabinets. “You never disappoint, do you, Bernard?” Light smiled as he pulled a gasoline canister and matches from under the sink. He poured it all over the man,  striking a match as he backed away toward the door. “Rot in hell you piece of shit,” Light said as he flicked the match and ran out the door. He raced into the woods and didn't stop running until he couldn't catch his breath and his body burned. Surely there was something in that building that would cause it to explode, and Light didn't want to be there when it happened.

The sun was going down, so Light began jogging. “ _ Fuck,” _ he muttered. He needed to make it to  L by tomorrow morning to warn him about the bombing, and he wasn't sure he'd make it without a horse. He should've never told them to take his horse.  _ God  _ _ damnit _ _ , I'll never make it in time! _


	21. Maybe I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light tries to make it to L in time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long anticipated chapter indeed!

As Light ran, he became dizzy for lack of oxygen, stumbling and nearly falling into a tree. Though his lungs burned and his body ached, he pressed on. L would die along with many others if he didn't make it in time. He'd cut through the forest, bypassing the compound to cut some time off his journey, but as he went, he was sure he was lost.

S low ing to a walk, Light tried not to panic as he attempted to catch his breath.  Continuing in the direction he thought  the river flowed in, Light did the only thing he could and trusted his gut. It felt like eternity and his legs felt like  jello beneath him . Eventually, though, he thought he heard the sound of running water. Racing toward it, Light ignored the aches of his body. He didn't stop until he was upon it, falling to his knees with tear filled eyes.  He bent down to take a quick drink from the  icey waters, soothing his throat. 

Light picked up a steady jog the rest of the way to the city.  The sun wasn’t too high, and Light was pretty confident he'd make it. And he would have made it with plenty of time to spare had he not tripped over an exposed root and twisted his ankle. “Fuck!” he cried out as he grabbed his foot. It immediately because to swell and he removed his shoe. The freezing waters rushed over his foot and numbed  it. Standing, Light was able to tolerate a slow limp toward the city wall.  He wasn't so sure he'd make it now.

Limping into the city, the pain shot through Light's leg as the numbness wore off. He looked around desperately for a patrol officer who could help him or maybe a payphone. There was nothing of use he could find as he liked along, slowing down significantly. He tried ridiculously to hop on one foot, but that didn't last long or get him far.

Suddenly, in the distance he heard a loud explosion, “No!” he cried,  frantically limping toward it. “it's too early!” Smoke filled the air in the direction of the Southside of the city and Light took cover, knowing the responsible Kira members would be running by any moment to escape.  With his head in his hands, Light sat in a back alley and sobbed.  He was too late, L was dead and now his little boy was fatherless.

When he was sure the coast was clear, Light stood and made his way to the apartment. He'd rest and eat and come up with a plan from there. Maybe he'd let the police know Kira's hideout location. Maybe he'd turn on them all. No, he couldn't do that. Not while  Sayu stood to be collateral damage.

The pain was nearly intolerable as he limped to the apartment. He prayed the door would be unlocked. It was. He closed his eyes and sighed as he opened it, knowing he was safe for now.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were coming.”

Light froze. His eyes shot open and shock seized him as he took in the sight before him. L stood there, smug as ever, like nothing in the world was wrong at all.

Bursting into tears, Light limped forward and threw his arms around L,  embracing him tightly as he sobbed. A stunned L hesitantly put his arms around Light. “What’s going on?” he finally asked.

Light pulled away, “I thought you were dead,” he whispered.

“Why would I be-“

Light cut him off when he abruptly pressed their mouths together,  forcing his tongue into L's mouth as he pulled the man firmly against him once more. L gave into the aggression,  knowing he could ask his questions later. Light’s hands explored L's lithe body, settling on his belt buckle. L did not stop him this time.  Instead, he found his own hands roaming the real estate of Light’s body beneath his sweat soaked shirt. The boy’s natural scent  was a turn on as L took him in. 

Clothing began to softly land upon the floor, either man only stopping the exploration of each other's mouth long enough to remove a shirt.  Any coldness that had settled under Light's skin was gone when L touched him. His pain was all but forgotten as they sunk harmoniously to the floor, Light climbing the pale body beneath him  needfully .

Erections met between the grinding hips of two love starved men.  Light moaned into L's mouth, who felt he couldn't spread his legs enough for the one on top of him.  Pulling back from Light, he held that stunning face in his hands, “I want you inside me.”

“Ok,”  Light said, pushing himself onto his knees.

L stood and helped Light up, “There's lube and condoms in the bedroom. And a bed. Might be a bit better than the floor.”

Light smiled and followed L into the room. He didn't ask about Light's limp. L was saving his questions for later. He opened a drawer on the nightstand and pulled out lube and tossed Light a condom. Light rolled it onto his throbbing erection and L walked over to spread lube on it while he kissed Light.

“Mmmm,” Light moaned and reached for L, pushing him down onto the bed and folding him over until his ass was exposed and ready to be fingered open. Light pumped lube down that needy crack and rubbed it against L's hole with his fingers. L shivered and groaned beneath him and Light pressed a finger inside.  L seemed to suck his finger right in, the warm, velvety smooth walls inside of him causing Light to ache for more. 

L whimpered when Light added a second finger, and hissed at the third. But he begged Light not to stop. The hole was wet and gaping at this point, L's body practically begging Light to enter.  He obliged slowly, knowing he was significantly bigger than three fingers. L clung to him, eyes closed tight as he breathed through the stretch.  Releasing his grip, L opened his eyes and relaxed, “It's been so long since I've felt this.  _ God _ , how I've missed it.”

“I have wanted this with you for weeks,”  Light admitted,  slowly rocking in and out of L as he hovered above him. 

“Me too,” L smiled,  pulling Light's head down for another kiss. “You can move faster, if you want.”

Light did want to move faster, but he also didn't want to come quickly. He increased his thrusts a little, angling himself where he thought the prostate might be. L began stroking himself and cried out when Light thrust at a new angle. With a devilish grin, Light held that position and pounded into it until L was spurting all over his own stomach.

With the glorious sight below him to spur him on, Light increased his speed, his balls slapping against L's ass. L clung to him once more, clawing into Light's back as he cried out. “Yes, L. Yes, L!”  Light was frantic as the knot in his belly grew and tightened like a spring.  He buried his face in dark hair as his whole body went rigid and he spilled over the edge into the condom. 

Panting heavily, he sat up and pulled out. He tore the condom off and let it fall to the floor without care.  Laying back down, he found L wrapped in his arms as they bathed in the after glow.  Light planted sweet kisses to that now familiar face, and L searched Light's beautiful eyes. “Why are you limping?”

“I tripped on my way here.”

“Why did you think I died?”

“The explosion.  Kira planned a bombing. It went off today. I thought you were in it.”

“No, my assignment was to meet you, thank God,” L said. “I have to confess that when you came in and opened your eyes, you looked at me the way I’d been dreaming you would.”

“Oh yeah?  How was I looking at you?”

L brushed auburn hair aside, “Like you loved me.”

Light kissed him gently, “ Maybe I do.”

“Maybe I love you too,” L whispered.


	22. The Sweetest Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L asks Light to stay the night

It was getting late, and the two lovers enjoyed coffee on the balcony out back,  watching the sunset behind the trees. They shared a fluffy, dark grey blanket to cover up their nakedness, not that anyone could see them. The gold, orange, and red hues of the sunset cast a stunning glow on Light's skin and L marveled at how truly beautiful the young man was. He leaned his head against Light's shoulder and sighed. If only this didn't have to end.  If only they could be together openly. If only, if only, if only.

Light kissed the top of L's hair and breathed him in. “I have to get going if I plan to make it back tonight.”

“Just stay until morning. Tell them you were on lock down with me because of the bombing. It's the truth, anyway. I'm not supposed to leave my post until someone comes and gets me , and I doubt  that'll be tonight .” L explained, large, needy silver eyes searching Light’s face for an answer.

“Alright. I'm injured anyway so that's an added excuse. They'll all just have to worry tonight.” Light felt bad about leaving his sister hanging but not bad enough to give up making love to L all night long. He'd never been in love before. There was no place for it in a world like this. But his parents loved each other, and his family all loved him. It's not like he'd lived a life devoid of it. He just never experienced love like this before. It was terrifying and yet somehow the safest place he could possibly be.

“I'm getting a refill,” L said as he kissed Light and shrugged out of the warm blanket to scoot inside.

Light stared into the last light of the sunset and thought that his life was well reflected in it. The sun was going down on his old life, on who he used to be, and would rise tomorrow to a new day, a new him. A him who loved L wildly and with freedom. A him who left Nicola behind. Who found a new life for himself with L by his side. That's what he hoped for in the next sunrise. 

It was dark now, so Light gathered his mug and blanket and made his way back inside. L looked up and watched him a moment. He had been in love before, once, when he was younger and the world was a kinder place. His lover didn't survive the fallout from the war, and they would've been executed for having a homosexual relationship anyway. It was such an unbearable pain, losing someone like that. At the time he thought they'd always be together. Now he wasn't quite so naïve. L knew there was nothing keeping them together. Nothing they could do about it either. L just took it a moment at a time. He had Light right now, in this moment, and it was all that mattered because it was all he had.

The blanket landed softly on the sofa and Light found his arms encircling L from behind, kissing his neck. “Can we take this back into the bedroom?”

“Of course.” L's fresh pour of coffee would be left unattended on the counter as they made their way back to the bedroom.

“I want to ask you something,” Light said as he sat on the bed, “ I was tested after…what happened with Bernard. I'm clean. Do you feel comfortable  forgoing condoms?”

L smiled sweetly as he sat next to Light on the bed and held his hand. He was clean as well. STD testing came with his health Care and regular screenings kept the small population from spreading disease quickly. The government was very strict about that sort of thing, knowing that an outbreak could  at worst wipe out the population or at best stagnate the birth rate.  “I'm alright with it.”

Light leaned in and kissed L, grabbing a handful of dark hair as he moved in upon the other man. L laid back with his head on the pillows, cock twitching with anticipation. He was still stretched open from their last encounter, so all Light needed was lube before sliding inside his lover. He wrapped his arms beneath L and pressed their chests together as they kissed. Light hissed as he moved inside L, “_God_ you're so tight. I've never felt anything like this before.” Not even with Nicola. Especially not with Nicola. “I love you, I know I do. Run away with me, L. Run away with me.”

L smiled up at Light, brushing auburn  hair from stunning eyes , “I can't leave my son, Light. As fantastic as running away with you sounds. I can't leave him.”

“Bring him.”

“And tear a child from his mother?”

“Bring her!”

L busted up into laughter which soon turned into  cries of pleasure as Light found and abused his prostate.  Light's tongue teased his sensitive nipples, and L writhed in pleasure beneath him, falling apart at the overwhelming  sensations shooting through him. “I'm, I'm going to come Light! I'm going to-  Aaahh !” 

Light sat up and watched as L spurted  white streams of come all over his belly. He didn’t cease his thrusting, loving the way L's body seized and continued trying to come despite being entirely empty. In a moment of curiosity, Light dragged his fingers through the sticky goo and licked it off. L simply stared up at him in lust blown wonder. It was easily the hottest thing he'd ever seen. What he didn't expect was for Light to lean over and spit it into his open mouth, then kiss him.

_ Holy shit, he's kinky!  _ L loved it, wondering how Light felt about choking and bruises. They had to be so careful, though. Nobody could find out about their affair.  It would mean the end of them both.  And L certainly didn't want this to end.

“L, I'm, oh  _ God!”  _ Light buried his head in the pillow as he thrust his hips forward once more and came deep inside L. It was a wonderful feeling, filling L up like this.  It felt like he was claiming him somehow.  Lifting his head, he kissed those sweat tinged lips. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.  I never want this to end. I don't even want to  _ think _ about leaving you.” L held Light’s body to him,  reluctant to move. “I'm always afraid I won't see you again.”

“I'll always come back to you. Always,” Light whispered.  Light didn't want to pull out, didn't want to move. He stayed with his body pressed against L's, still inside him, soaking up every moment.  He might have promised L the world despite knowing he couldn't give it to him.  Of all the lies he ever told, this one was the sweetest.


	23. Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizawa suspects L is up to no good. Nicola knows Light has been cheating on him.

When L woke, it was to an empty bed and a knock at the door.  Rubbing his eyes, he threw the sheets off and pulled boxers on, headed to the door. It was  Aizawa . “Glad to see you're safe,” L said.

“ How many did we lose?” L asked as he let the other man in and headed to the kitchen to make them coffee.

“Not sure. We're still digging bodies out of the rubble. We've found a few still alive, so there's hope,” Aizawa said. He glanced around the apartment. Something seemed off to him. Was there another person there? He knew Light came to inform, but it looked like someone had stayed with L. There were extra dishes in the sink. _Is that a bruise on L's hip? _“Care if I use the bathroom?”

“Not at all.”

Aizawa walked into the bathroom and pulled a pair of tweezers from the vanity drawer. Sifting through the trash, he wasn't sure what he was looking for until he found it. A used condom. Was L having sex with his informant? _Holy shit, _Aizawa wrapped the condom on a wad of toilet paper and stuffed it in his pants pocket. Replacing the tweezers, he fished the toilet and washed his hands.

L had a cup of coffee ready for him when he walked out. “Thank you,”  Aizawa said. “Are you ready to come help us dig up bodies?”

“As I'll ever be. Can  I call Naomi and let her know I'm safe?” 

“Sure. She knows you weren't at the bombing site but I'm sure she'll be glad to hear from you. We  gotta stop by the precinct first anyway.”

L nodded and finished his coffee. “I'm not  gonna bother with a shower if it's all the same to you. ”

“Do you,  Lawliet .  We're just going to get filthy at the bomb site,”  Aizawa shrugged.

L went to the bedroom and pulled on his clothes, stopping in the bathroom to brush his teeth. He didn't suspect a thing.  Aizawa was a good man, someone he considered a friend. Extending trust to him would be L's biggest mistake. They casually walked out of the apartment as though nothing were different between them. Yet, as  Aizawa watched L out of the corner of his eye, he wondered if the detective had withheld important information that could’ve stopped the bombing in the first place. Was L helping or protecting Kira members? Had he switched sides? L was a good officer who had been on the force a long time.  Aizawa considered him a friend, but perhaps he’d changed. Perhaps he’d seen too much. He debated on bringing the chief into the loop but decided against it for now. There was a slim chance he was wrong about L and he hoped he was, for L’s sake. 

***

Light had left before the sun came up. He’d kissed L’s cheek but the other man was sleeping so soundly that he didn’t even move. “Until we meet again,” he whispered, laughing to himself at his own corniness. His ankle was much better and he was able to walk on it just fine, but running or jogging was still out of the question. For this reason, it took him hours to get back to the compound, and by the time he arrived his ankle was swollen again and throbbing. He passed the long dead gardens and the animals with their fuzzy winter coats growing in. The days had been getting progressively colder and shorter, and L braced against the chill.

On his way to get some medical attention from Dr. Margie, Nicola appeared outside. Light stopped, “Hey,” he said hesitantly.

“Where the hell have you been?” Nicola demanded.

“I was on lockdown because of the bombing. I couldn’t leave,” Light explained.

Nicola wasn’t buying it. “You’re so full of shit!” He said, closing the gap between them and balling his fists. “I saw you on our way out of the  city, Light . Something told me to follow you, so I did. I could hear you fucking him, Light! I heard it!” Nico swung and smashed Light in the jaw with his right fist, blood flying as Light landed on the ground, nearly knocked unconscious.

Nico began kicking Light in the ribs and stomach, shouting profanities. “You fucking whore! How fucking  dare you cheat on me! You worthless pile of dog shit!” Matt and a few other guys heard the commotion and came running out, grabbing Nicola by the arms and restraining him.

Maverick came out and knelt by Light, “I’ll take him to Margie,” she said as she and another person lifted an unconscious and bloody Light off the ground. 

“Let me go!” Nicola struggled, but Matt was a good bit bigger than him.

“No. I think it’s high time we locked your ass up.”

“Fuck you!”

Matt and a few others dragged a struggling Nico to their makeshift jail cells. They rarely ever got used, but were intact. They were in theory not something that could be broken out of, but they’d have a guard on Nico at all times just in case. It was damp and rusted, with a bucket to relieve himself in and a ‘bed’ that was made of rotting blankets. Sure, they’d get him new blankets and make sure the idiot was fed, but that was all the luxury he would be allowed.

Sayu heard the news about her brother and raced to his side in the middle of feeding the animals. A friend of hers offered to finish her chores. Light was conscious but in a lot of pain. His ribs were bruised, one of his eyes black and swollen, and his jaw cracked, but he was otherwise alright. The doctor bandaged him up and gave him a bottle of narcotics to take for the pain. She slipped away quietly to give the siblings some private time to talk.  Sayu burst into tears when she saw him. He sat up on the cold metal table and reached for her, “I’m ok. Hush, I’m ok.”

“I can’t believe that psycho did this to you!” Her face was red as she cried, her anger bubbling over.

“I have a feeling he’s going to get what’s coming to him,” Light tried to smile, but it hurt. He slid off the table and almost fell over as he tried to walk. “I might lay down for a while.”

“They’re going to hold an emergency meeting tonight. Want me to come  wake you for it?”  Sayu asked.

“Please.” With that, Light collapsed on his bed and promptly fell asleep.


	24. Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizawa begins building a case against L. Light becomes the leader of Kira

It was 24 hours on, 24 hours off, working in endless shifts to recover all the bodies. They'd stopped finding people alive about 48 hours in, which was to be expected.  There were some civilian volunteers as well as medical staff at the ready in case someone came out alive.

It was exhausting. L did little more than shower and sleep when he got home. He'd seen his son only a few times the entire week, and mostly it was just them napping together.  Naomi worried about her husband's health but kept quiet. There was very little she could do aside from complain, and that would help nothing.

Toward the end of the week,  Aizawa made a house call. “Oh, hi. My husband is sleeping,” she explained upon answering the door to find him there.

“Actually, I need to speak with _ you.  _ Do you have a moment?” He asked.

“Oh. Yes. What about?”  She invited him in and put on some coffee.

“It's about L. I'm concerned. Has he seemed off to you? Acting strange? Like he's hiding anything?”  Aizawa asked as he made himself comfortable at their kitchen table.

“I mean, he's always been a strange person,” she half smiled. “And very private. But he hasn't seemed any different to me. If anything, he seems almost happier.”

“Happier?”

“Yes. I think with the birth of our son, going back to work, and the pain in his leg becoming less and less, he's happier,” she explained.

_Probably doesn't hurt that he's got a young booty call __on__ the side, _Aizawa thought. “Has he mentioned anything about the informant he meets with once a week?”

“Yes,” she said, “I don't know much, but I know it was a big deal for him to start learning more about the Kira group.” She br ou ght over coffee and sat down. “Is everything alright? Is L in some kind of trouble?”

“I sure hope not. So far, so good. Please try not to worry,” he smiled.

But she was worried.  Knowing L, he'd gone off and done something he shouldn't have in the name of justice.  _ Please, just don't be stupid.  _ He had a son now, what was he thinking?

***

Sayu kept her promise and woke Light up in time for the meeting. He popped some pain meds before shuffling his stiff body to their meeting room. Matt stood at the front waiting for everyone to take their seats. It was strange not seeing Nico there. Once everyone was seated, Matt called the meeting to order, “First thing I want to do is vote  on Nicola's inability to continue as our leader given recent events, including but not limited to the unwarranted beating of Light.” Matt pointed to Light and it felt like every eye was on him. His cheeks burned as Matt continued. “ All who agree that Nico is unfit to lead say aye.”

The majority of the room raised their hands. Matt counted votes, “All opposed?”  Nobody. “Alright. Next order of business is submitting names who are fit to take his place. I submit the name of Light  Yagami . Does anyone else have a name they'd like to submit?”

_It's really happening, _Light thought. They were really about to put them in charge of Kira. He was both excited and nervous, not wanting to let anyone down but also  wanting to implement his own plans to grow the group. It could be so much more than it currently was. It could be a catalyst for change.

There were no other submissions and no objections to putting Light in charge. Matt had him stand and hobble up to say a few words, but Light was completely unprepared. “I'm honored to be chosen to lead, and I hope I don't let you down. Nicola did a lot of things right. He built this compound and made Kira what it is today. My hope is that we don't repeat his mistakes.” _Instead we make new ones, _he thought as the crowd clapped and cheered, “Alright, I'm going to sit down now. Standing for very long sucks right now.” He got a few laughs as he limped back to his seat. It seemed the group majority accepted him as their leader. It was an honor but also a burden. Light sincerely hoped he didn't fuck it up.

***

Naomi debated on whether to say anything about  Aizawa’s visit. Would mentioning it cause L to bury any evidence of whatever transgression he may be accused of? Would she be considered an  accessory? Naomi couldn't risk being caught up in whatever was going on with her husband.  She had their son to think about.

“What's on your mind? You look stressed,” L said from where he sat at the breakfast table.

Naomi sipped her coffee, “No, I'm alright. I was just thinking I would like to start trying for another baby soon.”

L smiled. He would like that, “Oh. You feel ready?”

She nodded, “Yes. Quill will be over a year old by the time his brother or sister is born.  I think I can handle that.”

L stood to clear his plate and kissed his wife on the forehead, “I hope we have a girl.”

As she watched him move into the kitchen and offer to refill her coffee, she couldn't imagine he was guilty of any crime. He was moody and private, but those weren't crimes.  He was a good husband and a great father. Even more than that, he was an excellent police officer.  It angered her that they would investigate him after all he'd sacrificed. The world they lived in was cruel indeed.

“All I have today is my meeting with my informant, so I'll be home at a decent hour tonight,” he said as he kissed her goodbye and walked out the door, his limp barely noticeable anymore.

L hoped Light would arrive to the apartment early so they had all day together.  He'd promised Naomi that he would be home early, and he knew he needed to start having sex with her more often if they were going to have another child.  At least his meetings with Light were only once a week. That way he could fantasize about it while he fucked his wife. L wondered what was wrong with him that he didn't feel guilty for cheating.  He shrugged. There was probably a lot wrong with him. 

When L unlocked the door and stepped inside, he was startled by a familiar voice, “ Hi, L. We need to talk.”

“ Aizawa . What about?”  _ Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  _


	25. Staying Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizawa confronts L

“Have a seat,”  Aizawa said  cooly from where he reclined in the chair.

L walked over and sat on the couch, leaning forward with hands clasped. “Why are you here?”

“ You tell me. Tell me why I found a used condom in the bathroom and why it has your informants DNA in it.”

L faked a laugh, “He has a spare key,  Aizawa . It sounds like he's putting it to good use. I told him he could crash here if he had nowhere else to stay. Looks like he's doing that sometimes.”

Aizawa still seemed suspicious, “You better not fuck up,  Lawliet . I like you, you're a good cop, but you know the law.”

“Yes, I'm aware. And I follow it, so I have nothing to fear,” he said, trying to remain casual and seem irritated that  Aizawa suspected him  of any wrongdoing. “You better go. My informant spooks easily. He won't talk if you're here.”

“Yeah I figured,”  Aizawa stood to go, turning to L at the door. “Be careful man. It's a cruel world out there. The law is unforgiving.”

“I know. Bye Aizawa.”

As soon as L was certain the other man was out of earshot, he checked for bugs. Sure enough, one was planted on the chair. “Fuck you, man,” L said as he crushed it. Knowing there were probably more, he scoured the apartment. He found one more in the bedroom.  _ Of course.  _ L hoped he hadn't missed anything.  When he heard Light enter the through the front door, he felt relieved. 

“Holy shit, Light! What happened to your face?” L asked in disbelief as he came out of the bedroom and Light came into view.

“Remember that jealous boyfriend of mine?  Apparently he followed me last week and heard me fucking someone,” Light said with cheeky grin. “Don’t worry though, he's been thrown in a jail cell and thanks to his behavior I've usurped his authority. You are now looking at the new leader of Kira.”

L stepped toward him and took his hands, “I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or take you into custody.”

“I could go for a little punishment,” Light whispered as their lips met. He kissed gently, his lips still sore and slightly swollen.

“I don't know,” L said, pulling away, “You look like you've had plenty punishment already. ” He stroked fingers through auburn hair lovingly, “I think I might go easy on you tonight.”

Light smiled and kissed L again,  pulling the man toward him with one hand on the small of his back and the other on his chin. “I love you. ”

Dark eyes swirled like galaxies as they searched amber ones that held a thousand suns, “I love you too.”

“Join Kira.” Light was earnest, sincere. “We’re going to change the world, L.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Stand up to the government. Grow our numbers to a point that we cannot be ignored. Things have to change, L.” His thumb stroked that pale face, “Do you really want to stay hidden in the dark forever?”

L closed his eyes and sighed into the touch, “No, I don't.  But a world in which we can be openly gay is a pipe dream, Light.”

“I don't believe that,” Light whispered as he kissed L again, the taste of strawberries and coffee mixing on his tongue.

L wanted desperately to believe him, to believe that one day they could walk the streets hand in hand and be unafraid. He just knew better than that.  L totes with the hem of Light’s shirt, “Do you want to take this to the bedroom?”

“Of course I do,” he smiled. 

They made their way to the bedroom, shedding clothes carelessly as they went. L sat on the bed, needy eyes looking up at the stunning young man before him. Light knelt on the floor and crawled between pale thighs, stopping a moment to kiss the scar on L's injured leg. Long fingers gripped Light's hair as he took his half hard cock in hand and teased it with his lips, bringing it to life. “You’re a tease,” L managed breathlessly. Then as if to prove him wrong, Light swallowed him down, sucking and pulling hard and fast. L cried out but tried to stifle himself. Hadn't Light said his ex overheard them?

Light's talented mouth swallowed the drops of  precome before moving off the throbbing shaft and engulfing his balls. L rocked back on his elbows and groaned loudly, unable to help himself.  Light worked the shaft with  one hand while he swirled his tongue around L’s sack, enjoying the noises he got out of his lover.  With a slurp, Light pulled off, “Can you reach the lube?”

“Yeah-ah-ah-ah!” L cried as Light dove between L's cheeks and began licking his ass.  Both hands left the shaft to keep his ass cheeks parted as Light licked, sucked and stabbed L's entrance with his tongue.

Looking up for a moment, he took the lube from L's hand and put some on his fingers. Massaging L's entrance with one hand while he kept his cheeks parted with the other, it wasn't long before L was crying out as he came from the torment to his prostate. 

Light smiled as he crawled onto the bed and slid himself inside L. Running a finger through the come on L's belly, he painted L's lips with it before kissing it off. His tongue searched L's mouth, and L began sucking on it relentlessly as Light slowly sunk deep inside of L. L let go of Light’s tongue and openly moaned when Light hit the base. He waited for L to adjust before he began sliding his hips back and forth in long strokes.

Digging his nails into Light's back, L lifted his legs and bent his knees to angle himself better. Light's balls smacked against L's ass as he picked up the pace, his breath hot in L's ear. Their sweat slicked skin slid together as Light pounded away inside of L, his muscles burning with the effort. He nibbled at L's ear, breathing in the scent of his hair and sweat and skin. He smelled like vanilla and honey and leather. Light dragged his teeth across the skin of L's neck as his hips slammed into L's ass. “You’re so fucking_ tight,” _he panted.

Light was slightly bigger than L in every way, and he covered him almost completely with his body. L didn't mind; it was comforting beneath that tan, lean body. He trembled as Light fucked into him, stretching him and filling him beyond what he thought he was capable of. “Oh God, oh _God,” _he cried out, forgetting completely about his earlier worries regarding noise.

Lifting himself off L a bit, Light quickened his pace, “I'm going to come,” he said, mouth agape and eyes squeezed shut as he grabbed L's legs and pounded furiously inside him. Throwing his head back, his hips stuttered as he careened over the ledge into pure bliss. 

Panting, Light’s arms shook with fatigue as he lowered himself on L and they kissed.  “I'm worried,” L confessed.

“About what?”

“ Aizawa is investigating me. He suspects us ,” L said, fingertips tracing mindless designs on Light's back.

“Fuck. We're on borrowed time, aren't we?”

“Haven't we always been?” L asked, a soft sort of seriousness to his face, “ No matter what happens, just know that they can't change the way I feel about you. No matter what, that stays the same.”

Light slowly kissed his lips, “I won’t let them take you from me.”

“Don't lie to me, Light. You know if I'm taken into custody there's nothing you can do.. And I prefer it that way. Stay with your Kira group. Live a long life. Find somebody new and make them happy.”

“There's nobody but you, can't you see that?” Light’s frustration grew as he held onto L. “You don't know what you've done for me. You’re the first person I've ever been intimate with because I want to be and not because I want something from you. You taught me about kindness, genuine kindness in a world where that's unheard of. You love me despite my glaring faults. You risk everything to be with me. Forgive me if I'm unwilling to give you up.”

Overwhelmed, L grabbed Light's face and pulled him into a kiss.  It only broke when L couldn't hold himself together anymore,  splintering apart beneath Light as he held him.  Light stroked his hair and kissed his wet cheeks. The love between them was pure and innocent and it was ending. They both could sense it.  The world was determined to tear them apart.  “I want to make love to you like it's our last time,” Light said as he searched large, glistening eyes. L nodded, knowing that it may very well  _ be  _ the last time.


	26. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicola hopes to redeem himself. L is arrested.

“I'm sick,” Nicola sniffled , white knuckled as he gasped the bars of his cell and coughed.

“Well don't get it on me,” Light said, stepping away with a look of disgust on his face. “I'll have Dr. Margie give you something. ”

“Thank you,” Nicola said as he wiped his running nose on his dirty sleeve.

“ We haven't decided what to do about you. Some of them want you executed.”

“Is that what you want?”

“No,” Light said. “I want you to change. I want you to say you've learned your lesson and that you're willing to follow me as my subordinate.”

“I am. Do you think I really have any pride left after being in here for so long?” Nicola almost smiled as he looked up at Light.

“You'll be released with the understanding that every single person here has permission to shoot you, no questions asked, if you're caught doing shady shit. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” Nicola gulped. He was sure more than a few people had it out for him. He wondered how long he'd last.

“ You'll have a guard with you for now until your probation period is up. You won't be allowed any privacy,” Light clarified.

“Look, I don't care if a guy has to shower with me, I just want a hot shower and a warm bed,” he sighed.

Light cracked a smile. Turning to the guard, “Let him out.” Light turned to go and over his shoulder said, “I'll expect you at the meeting tonight.”

“Wouldn't miss it,” Nicola said. Turning to his guard, “Well, you're in for a show because we're headed for the showers.” The guard grunted a little as he followed the former Kira leader.

Light prepared for the meeting inside Nicola's apartment. It was still the best place to get some peace and quiet. So when there was a knock at the door, Light sighed and rubbed his forehead, “Yes?”

It was Matt, “Hey man, I know you're busy trying to change the world and all, but I have something kind of important to talk to you about.”

“Have a seat,” Light motioned to the chair in front of him. “What’s on your mind?”

Matt sat down and squeezed his winter hat between his hands, “It's about your sister.  I really like her, Light. I wanted to get your permission to see her. ”

Light smiled. Matt was a good man. They didn't live in a culture where asking permission was customary or dating was really even a thing.  Maybe Matt was old fashioned, but he wanted to do this right.  “I think you're good for her, Matt. I know you'll treat her well.”

Matt lit up, “Thank you!” He shot up from the chair and raced down the stairs. Light peaked out the window to see  Sayu was waiting for him. Light smiled when Matt lifted and twirled her around as they kissed. He was glad she found someone to love her. Someone strong and dependable.  Somehow he knew there would come a time where she grew to really need him.

***

The meeting started and Light spotted Nicola sulking in the back with his guard. He seemed better.  Perhaps a shower and medicine helped. Light addressed the room and all conversations stopped, “I want to overthrow the government,” he said. Hushed whispers grew throughout the room. Was Light crazy? “ Quiet down and listen, please. We can do this and we will. We need to grow our numbers first. Nobody hates authority and the government more than the youth, so we start there.  Recruit kids on the street, at nightclubs, everywhere we can.”

“What if an undercover cop catches on?” Someone asked.

“I'll know because I have an inside source ,” Light explained. “I have an idea. We’ll use Bernard's ruined house  as a meeting place. We’ll search  and interview each recruit before bringing them here. ” As he continued to outline his plan, the room quieted. It was a good idea.  They would reach a point of critical mass and take on the government. They started to truly believe they could do it.

Over the next several days,  several members of Kira made their way into the City’s night life, making  acquaintences and connections. It wasn't long before they garnered interest and support from the younger generations,  especially those who already had group or gang affiliations that were anti-government. 

When Light, Matt, and Maverick arrived at the ruins of Bernard's home to see what they'd managed to rustle up from their efforts, the turn out shocked them. There were well over a hundred people waiting for them. “Holy shit,” Light whispered under his breath.  _ It fucking worked. _

***

L stretched as he woke up next to Naomi. They'd been trying for another baby and had certainly tried _ hard _ last night.  He wrapped an arm around her and snuggled against her warm, soft body. “I love you,” he whispered into her hair. If only he could lay like this all day, then that would be heaven. But he was meeting Light today , which was an even better alternative . It was hard to believe it had already been a week.

Walking into the nursery, Quill was already quietly awake and waiting for him. The baby smiled and cooed when L picked him up. “Good morning little man. I bet you're hungry.” 

Creeping down the stairs with baby in tow, he started his morning brew and scoured the cabinets for something to eat. For some reason, coffee had started reminding him of Light. He smiled, thinking of their first night together and how they watched the sunset. It was difficult waiting to be back in that apartment and he found himself counting down the minutes until they met again.

He warmed a bottle for Quill and began feeding him. Quill attempted to hold his own bottle but was wildly unsuccessful. Eventually he'd be able to do it.  L had gotten quite good at holding the baby and his bottle with one hand while he sat in his favorite chair and sipped coffee with the other. This was their routine, and it afforded Naomi a little extra much needed sleep.

L’s thoughts drifted to  Aizawa . He had backed off his case, so L assumed his lie did the trick. He was still cautious though.  Aizawa was diligent and if he got something stuck in his head he didn't let it go. L felt a little paranoid, like everybody at the  precinct had been watching him all week. At least today he could chill in the apartment and ignore them all.

The baby finished his breakfast and L burped him as they went upstairs to change his diaper.  “I love you, Quill,” L said as he hugged his baby and breathed in his sweet scent. Laying him back in the crib, he knew it wouldn't be long before Quill fell right back asleep. A full belly seemed to do that to him.

The sunrise was stunning as he made his way to the apartment. L wondered if there would ever be a day when he could enjoy one with Light. The light poked through the naked tree branches as the wind picked up, winter now in full swing. L  always looked the cold,  especially when there was someone to help keep you warm.

The moment the door unlocked and L stepped inside the apartment, he knew something was off. His smile fell as he noticed the man standing in the middle of the living room. “Aizawa? What-“

Aizawa cut him off, “I need you to calmly place your hands on your head while your weapon is removed,”  Aizawa said, his gun pointed firmly at L. “ You're under arrest, L.”

L did as he was told, hands slowly coming together on top of his head. He felt hands behind him  and heard boots tap the floor  as the chief announced his presence. “I am removing your gun and badge, L. Please lower your hands so I can cuff you.”

Without a word, L stared defiantly into  Aizawa’s eyes as he was cuffed.  “We  had forensics sweep the apartment, L. Your and Light's DNA is all over the bed.  You can't deny-“

“I'm not,” L stated, eyes like steel. He leaned toward Aizawa, “I let him fuck me into the mattress and I loved every God damned second.”

“That’s enough,” the chief stated as he turned L around to face the door. “Let's go,  Lawliet .”

L followed silently, noticing  Aizawa stayed behind.  _ Light's next. I wish I could warn him.  _ He didn't utter another word the entire trip back to the jail. He was quietly compliant as he was booked and put into a holding cell.  Maybe they'd show him kindness and put Light in the same cell. It was too much to hope for, probably.


	27. A Bad Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayu knows something isn't right when Light is gone for far too long

Something about the rather large security guard was kind. He didn't smile or say much, but he was gentle when he  uncuffed L and  locked him in his cell. No eye contact was made with L, no harsh or kind words either. Just a slow kind of gentleness.  So, when he eventually bright a very upset looking Light back, it shouldn't have surprised him when he opened L's cell and not the one next to him. “I'm not supposed to put you two together, but I don't like what they're doing to you. A lot of us don't,” he said quietly as he  uncuffed Light with that same gentleness. “ Now, I'll let you know if someone's coming, but for the most part  y'all should have some privacy.”

Without another word he locked the door behind him and waddled out. L would've thanked the man but he found Light in his arms, gasping and crying. “Don’t you dare,” L said. “Don’t give them the satisfaction of thinking they got to you, ok?” He lifted Light’s chin and saw glassy, red rimmed eyes that looked golden. 

Light shuddered and sniffled, wi pi ng his tears as he nodded.  “Ok,” he stammered quietly. 

L kissed him sweetly and pulled him into strong arms. “ Everything will be alright. It will. ” Of course, he didn't know that, but L and Light had built their relationship  on the kindness of lies and dreams  they knew would never come to fruition.  There was no sense in stopping now.

***

It had been 48 hours since Light had gone to meet L.  Sayu turned toward her sleeping boyfriend and rocked him gently, “Matt,” she whispered.

“Mmm,” he rolled over and wrapped an arm around her, sleepily pulling her into his chest and sighing contentedly.

She giggled.  He was everything she dared dream to have one day.  He was a  gentle and generous lover, not that she knew the difference really.  Already he taught her so much, and she knew in her bones he would be the father of her children one day. “I need you to wake up, love. I'm worried.”

“Mmmm 'bout what?” he whispered without opening his eyes.

“Light's been gone for far too long. I'm worried,” she whispered back, lightly touching his face.

“He's been gone this long before.” Matt smiled and rolled on top of her. He was fully awake now. With a kiss, he said, “ I wouldn't worry.”

She squirmed beneath him, his hard cock already teasing between her legs. When he leaned down to kiss her, he teased her nipples and she instantly felt wet. “Are you trying to shut me up with sex?”

“Maybe,” he mumbled as he lined her neck with kisses.

“It's working.”

Matt snickered under his breath as he moved inside her. “Marry me .”

“ Really?” Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked up at her beautiful redheaded lover.

“Yes.  Sayu , I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want  to have babies with you. Marry me.”

“Ok,” she whispered, holding his face in her hands. “I love you too.” She kissed him, “I want a baby with you too. I want everything with you.”

They made love and fell asleep again.  When  Sayu next woke, she left Matt in the bed and dressed. Concerned for her brother, she went to speak to the only  person she knew could help her;  Nicola. 

She found him by the  new additions they'd been building for the new recruits. It hadn’t stopped at a hundred. Within a week they had over 150 new recruits at the compound. They weren't sure how they were going to feed and house everybody. They had anticipated 20  people , tops. She approached a sweaty, dirty Nicola as he hammered away at the  new building along with several other people. “Nicola? Can I speak with you for a moment?”

He wiped his brow. “Sure,” he set his hammer down and walked over to her. “What's going on?”

She pulled her coat tighter around her waist, “It's Light. Something is wrong. He should've been back over a day ago. ” 

“I don't know if they'll let me go to the City,  Sayu . ” Nicola said, scratching the back of his head. “ If I can get permission to leave, I'll go looking for him. I'm worried too, honestly.”

“Thank you Nicola. Let me talk to Matt. I'm sure if you go with a guard it'll be alright,” she said. “I'll let you get back to work.”

“Alright,” he said, watching her walk off. If he could help in any way, he would. He owed it to Light.  He owed it to her, to everyone. He didn't understand his own behavior sometimes, but he was ashamed of himself. Nicola hoped his work somehow redeemed him. The way the others looked at him now made him feel like he was a pariah. 

Matt was up and looking for  Sayu when she returned. “Hey baby, where were you?”

“ Talking to Nicola.”

He narrowed his eyes, “Why?”

“Because he's the only one who knows where Light and L meet. ” She grabbed his hands and gave  them a squeeze, searching his face for the help she so desperately needed. “ Please let him go.”

Matt sighed, “Alright. I'll go with him and make sure he doesn't do something stupid.”

“Thank you baby!” she threw her arms around him.

He hugged her tight and smiled. There was nothing he wouldn't do to make her happy. If checking on Light eased her worries, that's what he’d do. Even if he despised Nicola, who was someone he once considered a friend.

The two set off that afternoon toward the City. Nicola was honestly excited to be going  _ somewhere.  _ Life had become quite monotonous and it was nice getting away from all the judgmental faces. Well, all but one. He could deal with Matt though. 

The first half of the trip was silent.  Finally, Nicola broke it with a question, “Do you hate me?”

Matt looked at him like he was stupid. “Yes.”

“Figured.”

“What did you expect? I used to look up to you, man. You were amazing. Now, it's like you've snapped. You  gotta get your shit together,” Matt said.

“Hey can we stop a sec? I think my blood sugar is low,” Nicola said, suddenly breathless and dizzy. They sat on a fallen log and Matt reac h ed into his backpack and handed him some cookies. “Thank you,” he said as he munched. “For what it's worth, I _ am  _ sorry. And I'm working on it. I don't know why I act the way I do sometimes. I want to be better.”

Matt sighed, “It would be nice to be friends again, man. I miss the way you used to be.”

“Me too.”

After eating Nicola felt better and they continued on their journey. They weren't far now, and once inside the wall,  Nicola showed Matt to the apartment. The coast was clear, so they checked the windows, but didn't see or hear anything. 

A neighbor walking home with groceries stopped, “Those two young men were arrested this morning, if that’s who you're looking for,” she said. “Such a shame.”

Matt was shocked and had a sinking feeling in there out of his stomach. “Thank you,” he said. He and Nicola walked off in ca se  police were still in the area. “Fuck!” Matt spat under his breath.

“I know.  Think we can spring him?” Nicola asked.

“No. The security is so tight at the jail. We'd be shot on sight. ” Matt's mind was racing, trying to think of _ something.  _ “ They're going to execute him, Nic.”

“I know. What can we do?”

“ Nothing.”


	28. One Final Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's nightmare seems to come true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest and say I'm nervous as hell about this chapter. It's important, and I hope it comes across the way it was intended.

L woke up to the sun in his eyes and Light in his arms.  It didn't escape him that they were still in jail awaiting their punishment. He didn't care.  All he knew was that he got that sunrise with Light, and he was thankful for at least that. L's long fingers tangled in that beautiful hair, lips gently  bringing Light to wakefulness. 

“Good morning,” Light mumbled, pulling L even closer.

“Morning,” L repeated,  continuing to stroke auburn hair.

“I had a dream about us,” Light whispered,  enjoying the way L stroked his hair. “ We were in a field walking toward a bright, warm light.  It was beautiful. I can't describe it. We were holding hands. I think, I think we were married,” Light began breaking down and L kissed his cheeks. Pulling himself together, Light continued, “ We were so happy. ”

“I would marry you today if I could,” L whispered. He kissed Light lovingly, then added, “ You _ do  _ make me happy. You're the only thing that makes this hell tolerable.”

Light sat up and began pulling on a loose string on the blanket they shared. It unraveled a bit before breaking  off. Light turned to L and took his left hand, “Do you, L  Lawliet , take  me to be your  _ unl _ _ awfully _ wedded husband, ” Light smiled and L snickered as he began to twirl the twine around his  r ing finger, the indention from where his wedding ring had been removed becoming covered, “ t o have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part ?”

Light broke the string and L took it from him, copying to Light’s left hand what had been done to his, “I do. Do you, Light  Yagami ,  take me to be your wedded husband, t o have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part ?”

“Of course I do,”  Light said, leaning in to seal their promises to each other with a kiss.

They held each other in silence for a moment, wishing they could give each other so much more.  An interruption came when the friendly guard brought them breakfast. “I hear you'll be getting sentenced today,” he told them, “ Probably carry it out tomorrow. There's talk of a public execution.”

“Thank you,” L said, and the guard smiled slightly before leaving them be.  “Highly unusual to make an execution public. They must  want to make examples of us.”

“I bet they do,” Light grinned, “We could either be an inspiration to the people or a woeful tale of warning.”

“Maybe we’re a bit of  both,” L suggested.

***

Sayu was in shambles. Light had been arrested and was awaiting execution. How could this happen? Light always took care of her,  protected her. How was she supposed to make it through life without him?  He was the only family she had left. How could he do this to her? How could he be so stupid? “There must be something we can do?”

“ Sayu , there's nothing. I'm sorry.  The jail security is very tight. There's just no way to get in,” Matt tried to explain as he held her.  “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry  Sayu .”

She knew she wouldn't get to see him. Chances were she'd be arrested for being affiliated with Kira if she tried to visit the jail.  Sayu was never going to see her brother again. She couldn't stand the thought.  _ He was just here,  _ she thought.  _ He was just here. _

Word eventually came to them that the execution would be public, and there was no stopping  Sayu from going. Matt, Maverick, and Nicola all joined her on the journey into the City.  It was a somber  walk, but  Sayu held it together well.  They wore  hoodies, hats, or scarves and sunglasses to hide their faces.  The face of Kira was not well known, but they didn't want to risk being seen.

When they  arrived,  a crowd had begun to amass in the square. A giant tri-fold wall had been erected, and a perimeter around it to keep the public at a safe distance. A low barrier was set up and behind it stood ten officers who faced the wall.  Sifti ng through the crowd,  Sayu was able to make her way to the front, where she saw a shackled Light hobbling up to the wall.  It was all she could do not to yell his name.  His hands and feet were bound and connected by a short chain so he could not raise his hands.  Guards stood on either side of the wall, and Light was instructed to stand on top of an X painted on the ground.

Behind him, a dark haired man approached. He was similarly shackled and made to stand on the X next to Light. _That must be L, _she thought, knowing instantly why he fell in love so fast and hard. She couldn't blame him. There was something stoically beautiful about the man. Sayu removed her glasses and hood in hopes that Light would look her way. Matt removed his hat, hoping his bright red hair caught his friends attention.

Nicola sighed as thought back to when they first met. He knew even then that Light was something special.  A weaker man would've died from those wounds, but not Light. No, he rose above his abuse and took back his life. He climbed the ranks in Kira and was a far better leader than Nicola could ever be. He was smart and intuitive and Nicola couldn't help but believe had he not screwed up their relationship maybe Light wouldn't be standing here now.  _ I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I hope you know that. _

Even though he was breaking inside, Light held his head up high. He'd taken L's words to heart and they wouldn't have the satisfaction  of seeing his fear. Despite knowing he was  supposed to regain  facing forward and still, he turned to L, “I love you,” he said, his fingers just barely able to reach L's.

L stepped toward him despite guards yelling at them both. “I love you too.” He squeezed Light’s left hand, twirling the makeshift band in his fingers. 

“Ready!” The officer in charge announced to the ten who stood before them.

L leaned and kissed Light in one loving, final goodbye.

“Aim!” Ten guns cocked.

They were fully turned to each other by this point, both hands locked tightly together as they kissed, shutting out the rest of the world. Nothing mattered but them. Nothing ever would.

“ Fire!” the blast shredded their clothes as it blew  them apart. Blood spattered and mixed until there was no telling which was L's and which was  Light’s . L died instantly from a shot to the head. Light wasn't so lucky. As he laid there  sputtering up his own blood, tears in his eyes, he smiled. He smiled because they were walking into that warm, beautiful light, and they were married, just like he'd dreamed.

“Light!”  Sayu screamed and lurched forward, but Matt grabbed her and darted out of the crowd before she could make a scene.  They needed to get back to the compound. Suddenly Matt felt like it was stupid of them to come. He should've just told her no.

On the opposite side of the crowd, Aizawa stood comforting a sobbing Naomi. She couldn't understand any of this. How could her husband, the father of her child, be gay? It didn't make sense.  “What am I going to do?”

“You'll make it through. You're strong,”  Aizawa hated himself. He hated the law. L was his friend.  Now his son would grow up without a father. What would've happened had he let  L keep his secret? It didn't hurt a damn thing. He was still a good cop, good father, good husband.  None of that would've changed.

Naomi wandered home to her son, relieving the sitter of her duties.  On the kitchen table she lifted the note she'd left for L, tears staining the paper causing the ink to run.  She lifted the little plastic white and pink stick next to it. “You would've been so excited,” she whispered.  Walking over to the trash can, she threw out the note and the pregnancy test. 

“I wish you would've told me. I would've understood.” She sat on the floor of her kitchen and sobbed into her hands. Naomi would've never turned him in. She loved him, and if L needed sex with another man… she could've lived with that, she thought. It was better than the alternative. Better than this. And now the chances of her being paired with some bastard was high. It made her sick to think she couldn't protect her children in their own home if that happened. _No, _she thought, _I won't be a victim. _Despite his transgressions, L had set the bar pretty high. She would not be accepting less. She would fight for freedom. L deserved to be free while he was still alive. What happened to him was wrong. Naomi stood, determined. L would not die in vain.


	29. In the Wake of Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those left behind try to pick up the pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOOOOOO sorry for the super delayed posting of this chapter. I realize I left everyone hanging with the beast that was the previous chapter. I can't promise I won't continue to be slow to update, but I'm trying. This story should be wrapping up soon.
> 
> And as always, I'm a total whore for comments lol

All he could do was let her cry, and it killed him. It had been two days since Light died and  Sayu hadn’t given any indication that she was any better at all. If she left her bed, it was to vomit or use the toilet. She wasn’t eating, sleeping, or speaking. Matt paced the floor outside the bunkroom and chain-smoked cigarettes. 

“You know those will kill you,” Margie smiled as she walked up.

“Oh, good. So there is an end to all the bullshit.”

She laughed, stopping in front of him. Her smile fell, “How is she?”

“Bad.” He tossed the butt to the ground and stomped on it.

“Care if I talk with her?”

“Be my guest,” He motioned to the doors and she walked past with a nod.

Inside, she could hear the young girl sniffling. At least she wasn’t wailing any longer. She approached slowly and sat on the bed at her feet. “ Sayu ?”

Sayu glanced over her shoulder at the older woman. She wiped her nose and decided to sit up. “Hey…”

Patting  Sayu's blanket covered knee, she pulled a  small box from her lab coat and passed it to the young girl without a word.  Sayu took it and looked from the box to the doctor with a blank stare. “If I'm right in my assumption,”  Margie said quietly, “ You know what you have to do.”

Sayu slid out of the bed and the doctor followed her to the bathroom.  If things were going on the direction she suspected,  Sayu was going to need immediate support.  She watched as the young girl pushed open a stall door and didn't bother to shut it behind her.  Scratching her greasy, matted hair,  Sayu read the directions before getting started.  It all seemed simple enough and in roughly two minutes she'd know something she didn't before.

“How's it going in there?” Margie asked, trying to stand back and offer privacy.

“It's going,” came the tired answer. “Oh _ shit.  _ Margie?”

At once the doctor was at the door. “Well?”

“I'm pregnant.” Her eyes were wide with shock.

Margie smiled. “Congratulations.”

Sayu burst into tears, cradling he r face in her hands. She couldn't do this, she thought. It was simply too much. 

Firm, yet loving, “Pull yourself together  Sayu . This is _ good news.  _ Matt will be thrilled. Finish up. I'll start a hot shower for you and then you need to eat something. Doctor’s orders.”  Margie winked as she walked off, the epitome of grace and calmness. 

Sayu wondered if she could ever be like that in the face of adversity. She was so fragile. _Light wouldn't want to see me this way. He would be excited to be an uncle. _“Ok,” She said, rising and flushing the toilet. She stepped out of the stall and undressed, her soiled clothes falling to the floor in a crumpled mess.

The shower water was hot and wonderful. She'd forgotten the cleansing power of a good wash went far beyond skin.  When she stepped out, Margie sat her in a chair and began patiently untangling her long hair.  Afterward, it was breakfast. 

As  Sayu sat and ate, Margie fetched Matt, who was shocked to see that not only was  Sayu up, but bathed and  _ eating.  _ He sat across from her at the long table. “How are you?”

She stopped eating and glanced around. Others were beginning to filter in, the cramped eating area becoming loud with the morning rush. “Can we talk privately?”

“Sure.”

Sayu stood and cleared her plate.  Taking Matt's hand, they stepped outside into the crisp morning air, a light layer of snow adding  to the ambiance. “Matt, I'm pregnant.”

Immediately he smiled and pulled her into a hug, lifting her off the ground. “I love you so much.”

Once her feet were back on the ground, she smiled up at him. Maybe it was because she ate something that she felt better. Maybe it was _ him.  _ The way he loved her. She couldn't be sure but for the first time she felt like things would be alright. “Matt?”

“Yes?”

“Our child cannot grow up in this world ,” She said. There was a calm sort of determination about her. “We need to fight back.”

“We will,” He promised, pulling her close.

***

Naomi had always allowed L his privacy, but he was gone and his home office needed to be cleaned out. It smelled of stale bourbon and was dust covered. “Really, L?”  She glanced at the papers on his desk. They were notes on Light. Sitting down, she began reading. “Holy shit,” She gasped. He'd known the location of Kira’s hideout the _ entire time _ he and Light worked together. Clearly, he never turned this information over to his co-workers.

Standing, she walked over to the fireplace and started it. She'd commit it all to memory, then burn every last shred of evidence.  The only way she was going to be able to take on the government and fight for freedom was by joining them. Of that she was certain. As the papers turned to ash  before her, the warm flicker of flames reaching up as though asking for more, she grinned.  He'd given her everything she needed to do this right.

A few hours later a babysitter was hired and her bag was packed. “I may be gone more than a day, I'm not sure yet,” she explained. With a kiss to her baby boys head, she forced a smile and walked out the front door. It was impossibly difficult to leave him, but necessary all the same. She just hoped Kira would accept her intrusion.

The journey was long and a bit rough . She was unused to travel. She noticed people patrolling the perimeter, just like L's notes indicated. She knew it was littered with traps, too.  Carefully, she raised her hands and announced her presence to the nearest patrol person. A woman wheeled around and pointed a gun at her, shouting for the others to come.  Naomi swallowed thickly and shut her eyes, “I've come to join you! I mean you no harm! L was my husband.”


	30. Into the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naomi joins Kira and helps them prepare to overthrow the government

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is only one chapter left after this one, so I'm planning to post it as well today. I have greatly enjoyed writing this story and I hope you've enjoyed reading it.

Naomi had expected to be treated harshly,  imprisoned  and even possibly interrogated . To her surprise, none of that happened.  She was given an escort to the compound by a friendly woman with long, curly purple hair. Once they arrived, Nico, Matt, and  Sayu all introduced themselves.

“ You must be Light’s sister. The likeness is uncanny,” Naomi said softly to  Sayu as they shook hands. “I'm terribly sorry for your loss.”

“I'm likewise sorry for yours,”  Sayu said, almost apologetically.

“Why have you come?” Nico asked, cutting through the pleasantries.

“I would like to join your cause. I can't bear to live in this world any longer,” Naomi confessed.

Nico nodded in understanding. Turning to Matt, “Should we discuss this privately?”

Matt nodded. They needed to be sure they could trust her.  They excused themselves and stepped inside the meeting room to deliberate.  Sayu sat on a desk while the men contemplated with crossed arms, Nico pacing. 

Naomi was left to stand in the cold with Maverick, who turned to her, “Tea?” 

“Yes, please.” Might as well have something warm while she waited in this bitter cold.

They sat at a long table in the mess hall while Maverick poured the piping hot liquid for them. Naomi thanked and blew on her cup as it warmed her hands. It was a small comfort and yet so needed.  The steam rising off the light brown liquid reminded her of better times. The earthy taste like a memory. 

Halfway through her second cup, the three people deciding her fate stepped back through the doors and sat across from her.  Their faces were unreadable but not harsh.  Sayu spoke first. “We have questions.”

“Alright.”

“How did you find us?”

“My husband left behind a detailed map of your location. It seems he followed Light here at one point. Don't worry, he never turned the information over and I burned the only copy.”

Matt, Sayu, and Nico all nodded toward each other, satisfied with her answer. Sayu leaned toward Matt and whispered something to him. He kissed her forehead and she excused herself from the table. It surprised Naomi that they were together, though outwardly she didn't let it show.

“ Welcome to Kira, I guess,” Nico sighed as he shifted in his seat. “We have a strategy meeting tomorrow evening. You should be there.”

Naomi allowed a faint smile to cross her lips. “Thank you,” she murmured. Standing, she said, “I have to get my son and bring him here. If I leave now I can be back by nightfall.”

“Take Maverick with you,” Matt said. “And take the horses. It'll be faster.”

They stood, shook hands, and went their separate ways. Matt and Nico were both still a little unsure of the woman, but they figured she'd turn out to be trustworthy or not soon enough. They'd take care of things when they happened, _if _they happened.

Maverick was quick to saddle up but Naomi had never ridden before. With a smirk, Maverick pulled the lead rope of Naomi's horse forward and looped it around the  saddle horn so she could pony Naomi along. That made Naomi feel a little bit better, but she thought she'd come unglued when they began trotting out.  It was all she could do to stay balanced, and she wasn’t expecting it to be the thigh workout it was.

Thankfully, they walked in between trot stretches to allow the horses to catch their breaths.  Even though it was faster, Naomi found the ride strenuous and exhausting. Finding a place to dismount and tie the horses couldn't come fast enough.

The city was quiet as the women made their way to Naomi's home. She'd thought ahead and  already had everything packed for her and Quill. All she had to do was pay the sitter, grab her son and their things and go.  The only problem with this plan is she hadn’t anticipated  Aizawa stopping by. The sitter had let him in, figuring she could trust it when an officer said he was a friend of Naomi's.

Attempting to act casual and feeling herself fail miserably, she paid the sitter , who let her know Quill was napping, and smiled at  Aizawa , “ This is my friend Maverick,” she introduced, “What brings you here,  detective?”

“Nice to meet you miss,” he said as he twisted his winter hat between his fingers nervously. “I just can't stand myself, to be truthful,  Mrs.  Lawliet . I hate myself for what I've done. It's been haunting me these past few days. I can't seem to sleep or eat. It's terrible.”

“Oh,”  Naomi reached a hand out and gently placed it on his arm. “ You couldn't be complicit,  Aizawa . You would've been executed for that yourself.  I'm sure he forgives you. I know I do.”

“You do?” His eyes shined with withheld tears as he looked up at her, utterly broken.

“Yes, of course. L only had himself to blame.” Had he trusted her, she wondered if he'd still be alive or if they'd all be dead instead.

“I just… I just can't take it. I'm thinking about resigning.”

Surprised, Naomi glanced at Maverick.  She decided to take a chance, “What if I told you there was a way to atone for what you've done?  A way to help carve out a better future for everybody?”

“I'm listening.”

***

“How do you know we can trust him?”  Maverick didn't like what Naomi had done, but she couldn't stop it from happening.

“If I'm wrong  then shoot me. But  I have a feeling he’ll come through for us,” she smiled as she held her baby to her chest while they rode.  He’d nursed for a bit and then was lulled back to sleep by the rocking of the horse.

Aizawa had agreed to join Kira. He was to gather as many officers as he could who wanted to rebel against the government as badly as he did and meet Naomi and her friends outside the city wall tomorrow morning . The plan was to make it to the next strategy meeting and discuss overthrowing the government.  With a portion of the police force turned against the government, they had an excellent inside advantage.

Naomi felt calm as they waited. She and Quill settled into their bunk, becoming familiar with the other members  and making friends.  Dr. Margie  looked them over and gave Naomi a bottle of prenatal vitamins. “You’re about as far along as  Sayu is.  Congratulations.”

“Oh. Is this her first?” Naomi asked. The doctor nodded and smiled. Perhaps she could bond with the young girl over their mutual experience?  They'd both lose someone they loved dearly and were now both pregnant. It was a good way to get closer to the girl.

Naomi carried Quill out of the busy doctor’s office and toward the bunk room, where  a  young girl named Nicole was to watch the children while the adults attended the meeting.  Naomi felt she could trust the members of Kira, besides, the girl and a friend were watching six other children.

After that, Naomi made  her way over to the horses by the barn.  She,  Sayu , Matt, Maverick, and Nico were all to ride out and meet  Aizawa and whoever he'd gathered. They brought guns with them, though Naomi was confident they wouldn't need them. She groaned as she mounted, still sore from the last ride.

Riding in the back next to  Sayu , Naomi smiled, “I heard congratulations are in order. I'm expecting as well.”

“Oh, thank you. And congratulations,” she smiled.  Sayu really liked Naomi. Something about her reminded her of Light. She was smart, cunning, confident, and strong.  “This is my first. I'm nervous.”

“Don’t be. You'll do great,” Naomi smiled.

The girls talked about babies and the future and Light and L until Matt gave them the signal to quiet down. They were approaching the meeting place. The men rode ahead while the women hung back.  If anything went wrong,  Sayu and Naomi were to turn around and run home. No matter what happened, it was important to protect them and their unborn Children.

Matt had his hand ready to draw his pistol, as did Nico. They halted the horses when  Aizawa came into view.  “I’m Nico, this is Matt. Naomi is behind us.”

“ Aizawa ,” he introduced. Turning, he called out, “It's ok, you can stand!”

About fifty men and women both in uniform and street wear stood, revealing their hiding places. All were unarmed, and Matt and Nico felt relieved at the sight. “ Wow.  We were not expecting this.”

“We are all sick of the way things are. We're ready for a change,”  Aizawa said.

“Alright,” Matt said as he turned his horse, “Follow us.”

The large group slowly made their way back to the compound.  Naomi would be lying if she said she didn't feel just a little bit smug. Having over half the police force on their side was a huge deal. It could potentially be what gave them a winning edge. 

That night, over two hundred and fifty people crammed into the compounds largest room and strategized. The police would go home and carry on like nothing was different until the time came. Anyone who opposed Kira would be subdued. They planned to  hold the police who opposed them hostage while Kira stormed the government buildings. With no police Intel  coming in to warn of the attack, they had the element of complete surprise.  Nothing would stop them now.


	31. In the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five year's has passed and Sayu reflects on her life

Five years later.

Sayu smiled as she watched her children play in the park. She and Matt had planted the rose bushes themselves once the statue of Light and L had been erected. It was a beautiful  way to remember them. The giant metal statue pictured both men holding hands, sharing their final kiss. The plaque below read, “In honor of those who fought and died for the freedom to love whomever we choose. L  Lawliet and Light  Yagami shined the brightest of lights on our path to freedom through their unwavering love for each other.”

Her oldest son was dumping dirt on his little sister, her cries  breaking  Sayu’s train of thought. “Light! You better stop that at once!”

“He is certainly inventive in how he torments her,” Naomi said as she approached from behind, a giggle in her voice.

Quill and his younger brother L shot passed their mom and raced over to their friends. L and Light were nearly inseparable, and the love they had for each other brought a peace to their mother’s they couldn't understand.

“He’s such a turkey. Apparently Matt was just like this as a child,”  Sayu explained.

“And yet you're having more?” Naomi laughed.

“Don't judge me too harshly. Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment. I found out today I'm having twins.”

“Oh my,” Naomi said, “I'm glad I stopped at two.”

“Well,  I hear it's a bit difficult to get pregnant when your lover is a woman,”  Sayu teased.

“ Now who's being  judgey ?” Naomi laughed. She and Maverick had been together nearly four years now, and it was the happiest she’d been since L.  Happier, in some ways.

“I'm not judging you. So, now that you two can get married legally, when is the wedding?”

“ We haven't planned that far ahead yet, but I'm sure it'll be soon.”

“Light! If you don't knock it off right now I'm putting you in time out!”  Sayu shouted. Her son was _ such  _ a little shit, but she could never stay mad long. His brilliant amber eyes always got her right in the heart.  If he wasn't the reincarnation of her brother in so many ways. Surely he’d be a heart stopper when he was older. She knew her troubles with him were only just beginning.

The women laughed and talked as their children played. There was nothing better than knowing they had secured a bright future for them. They were free to be who they were and love who they wanted. It was a freedom that was hard won. They'd lost many lives in that fight, including Nicola, who single handedly took out several government officials before being shot to death.

Sayu and Naomi had restructured the government, and now held places of high regard as cabinet members of about ten people who governed the growing city.  Since they abolished the forced marriage laws and made gay marriage legal, the population began to sky rocket. The economy improved,  and people were happier. Domestic violence and violent crimes were at an all time low. Matt had joined the police force, and his job was mainly keeping teenagers off the streets at night. It seemed everyone appreciated their hard won freedom and it showed through virtually zero crime.

Dr. Margie was the head of the largest hospital in the city, with a staff of over a hundred people. New clinics were popping up all the time, trying to keep up with the rapidly growing population. It was a good problem to have, Dr. Margie would say.

The animals and equipment had all been moved from the compound. Farms inside the city took in the animals, and Sayu visited the compound one final time four and a half years ago. It was there that she said goodbye to her past, to her family and all their hardship. It was bittersweet. Kira had been their saving grace, and Light had always done everything he could to protect her from harm. He'd done a good job and now it was time for her to protect her people. 

“ Time for lunch!”  Sayu called after she'd set up their meals at the picnic table.

Naomi sat down and watched Quill grab Charlotte's, Sayu’s youngest, hand and walk her over. He loved that little girl with all his being and it melted Naomi to see them together. Light and L raced to the picnic table, tying like usual. They dove into chips and yogurt and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The women smiled at their happy, sticky faces. 

Birds flew overhead and sang as a breeze brought a hint of the scent of roses over. It was one of many perfect Spring days. They could hear the laughter of other children playing in the distance, their parents close behind. Sayu wiped Light’s face off and kissed his forehead before sending him to play again.

She sighed as she watched the kids run off again. “ Would you have been able to imagine this  would be our life six years ago? ”

“I wouldn't have dared,”  Naomi said as she helped pack up the leftovers.  There were many things she wouldn't have dared do or think or say six years ago.  Now she ran a city that was quickly growing into a state. Now she loved a woman out in the open without fear or judgment. 

L had given her so many things. He'd given her two beautiful children, the courage to fight for a better life, and a way to a freedom she never dared dream she'd live to see. There was so much she owed him. He was brave enough to love Light despite the world being against them. She would always admire them, how they stood against the world until the very end. It would be her legacy to make sure their memory and what they stood for was never forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop me a note and let me know what you thought of this story. I have really loved writing it and I hope the ending feels fitting to you. Thank you to everyone who hung in there with me with my slow updating lately! I'm terribly sorry but I hope this makes up for it a bit.


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